Morose Monday in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

Wow… I never thought that I (of all people) would find a Halloween in a negative mood. Halloween is wonderful, typically. Parties, friends, costumes… all sorts of great things.

None of that this year. Yesterday? While my parents were Live Tweeting Beggar’s Night… my wife and I watched Horror Movies. Because there were no parties, no friends, no costumes. Tonight, when this area does Beggar’s Night? They start early. So early, in fact, that neither my Wife nor I will even be home when they begin. So, essentially, my wife and I will be working through this area’s beggar’s night. When I discuss how different this place is to my background… it is things like this. Omaha: We’d go to The Moon in Costume. Des Moines: We’d go to Cabaret in Costume. Cedar Falls: We’d go to Joker’s in Costume. Here? There are zero activities for Adults. “Halloween is for good elementary school children or naughty High Schoolers.” :(

So there’s that. But then… I can’t figure it out.
Today’s weather. No sun. No clouds. Just gray. Gray everywhere. How can this place have such little sun and still be a farming community? That does not make sense! It makes me wonder if this could honestly be the gloomiest place in Iowa. Poverty, Joblessness, Death, Drugs, No sunshine… wow. Seriously.

Oh… and… yeah. Even as I was trying to go to sleep last night, I was having trouble sleeping due to already being in a foul mood about work. Suggests something needs to change. Anyway…
Got into work on time; immediately had three phone calls stack up. Sounds about right for an attorney. Except… first phone call: “my husband is in jail so we will not be paying fines.” Okay. Nothing I can do but remind her that the money is still technically owed so when/if he is released, he’ll have to start paying or there may be a warrant out for his arrest. second call: “Have you dropped the charges on my boyfriend?” Okay. We’ve talked every week, I’ve told you that your boyfriend needs to speak through his attorney. Once a party is represented by counsel, the lawyers talk to each other to get things done. That is an ethics rule. Third Call: “Do I have to be in court today?” What is your name.. you are a criminal defendant… do you have an attorney… then HE should be who you call for questions like that. Seriously.

Court this morning was interesting though. My boss got yelled at for not giving a shit about deadlines; and then the judge ruled in her favor anyway. The Police Officers in the room pulled me to the side and laughed saying “If we had a dollar for every time she was yelled at by a judge about deadlines; we’d all retire early.” As someone who values professionalism… I found this upsetting.

After that; I spoke with my boss about how the Board of Supervisors hasn’t responded to any phone calls or e-mails since last Tuesday… but they did put a mysterious non-item on the Agenda for tomorrow. My boss said some disturbing things: (1) “I called them to ask about what it was and they wouldn’t tell me. (2) Since I don’t know what it is, I’m not going to the meeting. (3) But I think the Board is going to try to hire your predecessor.

SO… the attorney that is disliked or hated by all of the surrounding attorneys… the attorney who doesn’t get along with ANYONE in Law Enforcement… the attorney we DIDN’T EVEN INTERVIEW… that is who the Board wants to try to push? And Boss won’t even resist it?

Granted… I still have that still small flicker of hope that the “non-item” on the agenda will be an open discussion about County Attorney Pay… but… well, it is easy to see how this place has become what it has… there is a constant push to crush hope. Hope threatens the Status Quo.

So I was thinking about all of this and talked to Wife about it. I want to learn more about Adoption Laws. Lawyers are an integral part of the Adoption Process in the United States. And after working here… where Child Sexual Assault is a “once a month” thing… where little girls go years without emergency dental care… where the Town keeps saying “For the children” and then turns a blind eye to their suffering… I want to HELP people with my brain/education/talents. I want to try to make the world a BETTER place. Maybe, unlikely, I can find a firm in a larger town that would be willing to teach me so I can “walk with people.” Because that is what adoption law seems like on first blush. It seems like a lot of paperwork, a lot of hoping for people, and sometimes (sometimes) that hope gets rewarded. Which would just be better overall than staying in this place, cutting deals with drugged up child molesters.

Because… frankly… I have to keep my head up and I have to do something. All of the hits, the failures, the fuck ups...... everything about this place… I’d seriously just pack my bags and move already if I wasn’t so afraid of being long-term unemployed and/or financially insecure.

Bah. Tough to be in a situation like this when the people nearby are saying the same thing; and the people far away are saying “Suck it up and deal.” Yet another “Millennial Problem” according to some in my family. Even though “Millennial” includes both a decade of people told that hard work guarantees rewards AND a decade of people told that participation trophies are necessary. I swallowed the urge to start a fight over Millennial Bullshit this weekend. Someone was mocking Millennials for being a whiny, live at home, reward for participating, waste of a generation. I swallowed my response and kept walking but… Excuse Me? For the people mocking Millennials… who raised us? YOU DID. So if you don’t like how we’ve turned out, maybe we aren’t solely responsible for that. By the way… Riddle Me This: Millennials are the highest educated generation in America ever… meanwhile, they are the financially poorest and have longer After College Job Searches than any prior generation. So… with millions of students drowning in college debt and not able to get a job… what about that experience seems like it isn’t something to be upset about? Further, a Generation that isn’t retiring when they hit 60 or 70 is going to look at people in their 20s and 30s struggling to get work and shit on them? Seriously?

Unrelated Note:
Some job find sites are like some date find sites and I find the concept a bit duplicitous. Legal Job Site: E-mails me that there is a Family Attorney Position open in Des Moines. Really? None of the other job sites I frequent mentioned anything. Interesting. Click. Oh… the website will only tell me what the job is and who it is for if I pay to be a member. It is like a dating website that says “join for free” but won’t let you see people who like you without money. Both business models in full effect on the internet. I can’t imagine that working in a Real World model. It is like a Talent Agent approaching you and saying, “You’re gonna be great kid, I’ll get you work no problem. I won’t even work on commission!” Then the Agent calls you to say, “We’ve got a job for you. I’ll give you the details after you pay me $50.00.” No. No. That isn’t how it works. You get money when I get money… why charge someone for “the privilege of applying to a job”… seriously.