how'd I get you in my truck in 2016

10:10pm

Ok. I’m back! Well I got back about an hour ago. I think we left sometime around 3, so maybe like 6 total hours together.

It was not at all like I thought it would be. And I feel a little weird because I’m not running on a high like I sorta figured I would be.

Not that it was bad! It was not bad at all! I had fun. It was interesting. I learned some new things. He definitely learned new things about me. I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. :)

It’s just so different. And maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be? I’m trying not to judge it too much.
I also don’t feel completely compelled to retell the whole thing right now, which is new. But maybe I’m trying to ride this one out. I don’t know.

I just sent him a text to say that I did have fun even though he crushed my dreams, but also that that could be the beer talking and thanked him again. ;)

That’s how cool I am.

I’m sure I’ll come back and give details later but basically he called me to ask for an address and showed up within a few minutes. He hit the wrong door and I directed him around the corner. I came back to lock the door and he waited outside.

We didn’t know where we were going so he just started driving. Apparently he knew my old neighbors and spent a lot of time out here as a kid. Crazy that we could have run into each other without even knowing it!

He drove us out to [beach town] and then said he remembered a place he gone once and maybe he could find it. It ended up being a brewery place, which hello! dream come true. haha. He’s not really into beer though, which sucks. No new beer drinking partner. Especially because he doesn’t drink dark beers. =( That was a sad fact to learn.

[sidenote: almost immediately after I left I felt that my phone was vibrating in my purse. Later when we were at the restaurant TF went to the bathroom and I checked my phone to see that JR had called. I got home and found out that he’d also called mom looking for me. Not sure what’s going on there. But I might just have to tell him about this whole thing…]

We ordered not long after and the food came super fast. Like I’d just barely started drinking my beer. I wasn’t planning on moving that quickly. But after they brought the food they basically ignored us. The waiter came around to ask if TF wanted another beer and when he said yes he asked if I wanted one too since the waiter didn’t bother to ask!
When I mentioned to TF that I thought they’d forgotten about us he said that they saw how much fun we were having, and how we were in the middle of something, and that’s why they weren’t bothering us. Like if something were happening between us and they could tell. lol.

We had three beers while we were there. TF had 2 shots of tequila since he was drinking light beer and trying to stay on my level. lol. We talked a lot. We stared at each other a lot.

Eventually we cut out of there and walked around the area. Ended up walking by a sock store [selling every sock design you can imagine]. I said they were pretty cool. Just randomly commenting on things we walked by. He stopped and said that he thought so too. I asked if he’d noticed my socks and when he said he hadn’t I pulled my pant leg up to reveal my awesome spider socks. I think he called them crabs though? I couldn’t hear. =\

He said he wanted to go in so I followed and we poked around the merchandise. I laughed about a pair of socks that said, “zero [picture of fox] given” and said those would be my kind of socks. lol. It was a total joke. Just messing around. He’d been the first one to see them so when he picked them up I thought nothing of it. Then he found a couple other pairs and we left. On the way out he handed the pair to me and said they were mine. Totally cool! And sweet. And thoughtful! :)

We walked around some more and eventually ended up back at his truck. We saw that we still had an hour left on the meter [he put like 4 hours on there because we didn’t know how to work it lol] and decided to walk around and get another drink. Ended up at this funny named place I’d thought he’d mentioned earlier. I followed his lead on the drinking because I didn’t want to over do it. When he ordered a martini [he’s way too fancy for me btw] I ordered whiskey. haha. We didn’t stay long but we definitely killed some time.

And sat too close to each other at the bar.
He’d definitely been trying to be all touchy-feely all night. Like at the restaurant he kept staring at my hands. I knew what he was thinking but I didn’t want to say anything. He brought up my watch a lot. I don’t know what his obsession is with it but he likes to look at it. He’d also mentioned my nails earlier in the night, but didn’t try to touch my hand when I reached them out. The beer must have kicked in though, or the tequila, because by the time he’d finally mentioned my ring he was reaching out to touch it.

I’ll admit, there was a tiny spark of energy when his hands came into contact with mine. He didn’t full on try to hold it but he was just sorta swiping his hands over mine. He did make jokes about trying to hold it though. And right before we left he put his hand down on the table in front of me and I high-fived him. haha!

I did let him hold my hand later in the truck though. I thought he was going to try something while we were walking around but he didn’t. We just kept bumping into each other. The bar is where he sat super close to me so our arms were basically touching the entire time and occasionally our legs. He did reach out once and wrap his arms around mine and rest his head. We were making jokes about him falling asleep on me because he was yawning.

Then in the truck on the way home he kept reaching out to me. And I certainly wasn’t doing anything to discourage it. I mean my hand was right there on the center console. Either that or it was resting on my knee where my leg was crossed. He’d casually put his hand on my knee once and swiped by my hand a couple of times. Eventually he just reached out and rested it there. We were talking about being cold and he’d touched my arm and didn’t notice goosebumps. I gave him a hard time for asking me multiple times if I was cold. Said he’d know when I was. And then he grabbed my hand and I mentioned how warm his hand was compared to mine. It was like a heater being put next to me!

He was just sorta like rolling his hand over mine, and messing with my ring. At one point he curled my hand up so it was wrapped in his. I know we were making jokes about it so he just came out and asked if it was ok that he was holding my hand. I said, “well I haven’t pulled away yet so I think it’s ok.” :] He said the way it was was uncomfortable and then he pulled away and said he’d rather have his hand on the bottom. I started teasing him about how maybe I liked mine on the bottom better and what not. He let go and readjusted. Then I agreed that it was kind of awkward and he went back to holding it the other way with our fingeres interlaced. hah.

It wasn’t for very long though. I kept bringing up how hot his hand was and I said something about how maybe it was making me a little uncomfortable and he let go. Honestly, I don’t know that I was that uncomfortable with it but I didn’t know what to do. I said that we were supposed to be friends and that he didn’t hold all his other friend’s hands. He said they were all guys so he didn’t feel ok with that. haha. Whatever.

When we got to the house he jumped out of the truck and I made mention that the stars were visible. We tried to find the North star because we’d been talking about it earlier [apparently he’d watched the patriot that morning and there’s a scene about it?]. Then I thanked him for the socks and the drinks and I went in for a hug. I realized in this moment that our heights are very similar. I don’t know why I thought he was so much taller than me. [also, he’s definitely been working out because he was carrying some extra weight last time I saw him and it wasn’t there tonight! yikes I need to hit a gym lol] When I went in for the hug he definitely came in close to my face and I thought he was going to kiss me on the cheek. He sorta just leaned into my neck though. Then we split, but his arm was still around me in like a side hug. He was looking at me and I knew for sure [or 99%] that he was thinking about going in for a kiss so I just pulled away and said goodnight. That ain’t happening dude, sorry. Too soon.

He’s clearly like attracted to me though, which is crazy for me. I’m not used to attention like that. He mentioned my backside several times in these subtle but super not subtle ways. And at the resturant when I joked about him seeing my flaws he said that he couldn’t see any on the outside. That maybe I had some inside but outside I looked pretty perfect to him. Which talk about a confidence boost.

Although, my brain is terrible so that it reminds me these are the kinds of lines guys say and he’s just trying to make a good impression. So I don’t really accept the words at face value and it’s not as exciting. He did say later in the truck that I can’t take a compliment, and yeah, that’s true. JR likes to say that to me a lot. hah. I can work on it though. If it’s a genuine compliment then maybe I can learn to accept it and be flattered by it. I’m just too cautious about that right now.

He called me a little while ago, around 11. I heard the phone ringing in my room and jumped up to get it wondering who could be calling that late. I got to my room to see his number on the screen but it stopped ringing just as I reached out to pick it up. I tried to call back but it just kept ringing. I sent another text saying that I’d tried to call but maybe he was prank calling me and haven’t heard anything back. I know that he doesn’t get good cell reception at home so maybe that’s why he’s not texting me back. Not sure what the call was about but oh well.

I think I should probably go to bed now. I haven’t really sorted out my thoughts on this whole thing so I know I’ll be back to work my way through that.
I do kinda feel like just sitting with him and holding his hand all night long, but he’s also like the first guy to ever hold my hand so yeah. And he looked really good today. Sitting in the truck with the sun shining through the clouds and those beautiful eyes right there in front of me…yeah. I’m into it. ;)
[I gave him an 8/10 when we were at the bar and he was fishing for compliments. I’d also just given the guy I was talking about a 7-8 though so I didn’t want him to feel bad. I’m not sure what I’d actually give him. I pretty much give an 8 to everyone. lol. Don’t tell him that though!]

Also I saw a couple of rainbows on the road and it rained a little on the drive, so that was nice. Good luck maybe?

rose.
11:58pm