Yeah in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

I called in late to work today. I woke up early, I planned on going in a few hours early and getting work done… and when I thought about it… it deflated me. Putting in all of this work… giving 150% just to reach an output of less than 10%.... … … it is like a poison. And I couldn’t do it again. I couldn’t go in to work, work my ass off, and realized I’ve done barely a fraction of a single thing. (PS: You can tell this job is destroying me because it took me ten minutes to remember the word fraction). After this long… I should be doing better. But… all things being equal… I know (academically) that I’m not a failure. The person who is supposed to be training me (who isn’t) is still making Rookie Mistakes herself. WELL established law “A preliminary hearing shall be held within a reasonable time but in any event not later than 10 days following the initial appearance if the defendant is in custody.” Even I know that one. But… nope. Boss didn’t get it done. And not because she didn’t have the reports. She certainly had the reports. She could have easily done her job. But she didn’t have a Compact Disc with Other Evidence, so she didn’t file on the Preliminary Hearing. In other words, it is like refusing to pitch a baseball during a game because the Mascot is taking a break… ultimately, pointless.

So I realize that… on a conscious level… my epic and continual failures aren’t a reflection of who I am or what I can do professionally. But I’m sick of them happening. And I’m sick of the Board not caring whether the County Attorney’s Office functions. SO… and we’ll see if this bites me on the ass… I sent the Board an e-mail. I described why the County Attorney position needs to be a full time job (because a County Attorney oversees the Attorneys in the county, leads prosecution, instructs officers on legal matters, defend the county against civil suits, preparing contracts entered into by the county, providing legal advice to local government, as well as other duties). Nobody should work 60 hours a week and be called Part Time! Then I offered them my suggestion for who should be selected. Heavily informing them it should be someone willing to work IN THE COUNTY and not someone who treats the County Attorney position as a “side gig.” We’ll see what happens. Because… as I consider it?

(1) The Board hires someone that keeps this department awful or makes it worse. In that case, I’d have to bail. Have to. But my legal education has been… significantly less than it should have been while I was here. Which puts me in an awkward position.
(2) The Board hires someone that actually helps the department and helps educate me ass to how an attorney works. In that case, I’d be overjoyed to be getting the legal education necessary to (someday soon) do more legal work and feel like I was actually capable of the job.

And those are the options. So I figure I owe it to myself, my wife, and the county to do what I can to make sure an acceptable candidate is selected and hired. But… who knows at this point.

(Oh, all of that being said, today in the office is a LARGE day of failures. Clearly, I’ve fucked up a lot. But when I still have to Google “Motion for Hearing” paperwork… while I feel like a personal failure, I take solace in knowing that such ridiculous bullshit is reserved for this office… as other attorney offices have Form Libraries and other actual resources.)