Last night I talked to Adam online. The following were his profile and away message, respectively:
Flashbulbs
I was careless, once. I was stupid, once. I was alive, once.
Every night I try to clear my head, try to see who I am. All that is promised to man in his time is death. Life is just a flashbulb, a fleeting moment before we fade away into memory. We fade to black. The act ends and the curtains shut. We all take our calls and credits to the applause and ovation of the masses. Either that or we are booed from memory and scratched from existence. In either case, at least someone cared enough to express their emotion. For my final curtain call, there will be silence. Dead, sickening, silence.
The silence will be a flash too. No one will remember in a year, few will even look after a week. Life is just a flash. Love is just a flash. Time is just a flash. Memory is just a flashbulb in a sea of light and tears.
I'm a loser,†† I'm a loser, And I'm not what I appear to be. Of all the love I have won or have lost There is one love I should never have crossed She was a girl in a million my friend, I should have known she would win in the end. I'm a loser, and I lost someone who's near to me I'm a loser, and I'm not what I appear to be. Although I laugh and I act like a clown Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown. My tears are falling like rain from the sky Is it for her or myself that I cry? What have I done to deserve such a fate? I realize I have left it too late. And so it's true pride comes before a fall I'm telling you so that you don't lose all.
I talked to him for a while. Then he put this away message up shortly after I put one up to do my math homework. After I read it I decided to come back from being away to see what he'd do. Sure enough, almost immediately, he sent me a message.
"The first thing you should know about me on IM," he said, "Is that just because I say I'm away doesn't mean I am."
"Oh," was all I said. There was a pause and I asked him if he'd written his profile. He said yes. Then I asked if he'd written his away message. He said no, it was a Beatles song. I said "That's wierd. I've never heard it." and he told me where I could buy it online. Then we went back to talking about whatever we'd been talking about before.
I also talked to Tom, who is still extremely depressed. I don't know what he wants from me. He IMs me first, but then he doesn't want to talk about anything. I try to talk about things, and he just says he doesn't care. After one period of silence, he told me he was depressed and lonely, and I said, "yeah, I've been there." "Where?" "Depressed and lonely." "Who hasn't? Life's a bitch, and then you die." There was more silence. He talked a little about his art - Asked me if I'd seen this one piece, which I hadn't. He said that art makes him feel a little better. Then the conversations pretty much ended. Today at school he was talking and laughing and seemed fine again.
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