I appologize for the quality of my writing. I'm kind of confused right now.
I don't think I'm going to attempt to describe my emotions after I got that email. There were a lot of them, some of them contradictory, and they confused me and made me physically shaky for the rest of the day. I do know, though, that I finally had to seriously confront myself with a question that I've been bringing up in my head for a while, and then thinking "Yeah right. Dream on." about: What do I do if he wants me back? Should I take him back? Would I want to? I mean, not that I'm sure about this by any means. I'd say the chances are less than 50%. Still, he said that breaking up with me has left him cold and lonely. And he made a point of telling me that he broke up with Nora. At this point, I'm pretty sure that I WANT to take him back. But I'm not sure if I should.
Anyway, I managed to kind of push emotions aside for a bit and decided that the most logical thing to do was email him back, because overall it was definately a GOOD email, despite possible wierd reprecussions. I wrote the following email:
Hey. I just thought I'd email you back and thank you for finally being up front about this. It's a relief to know that there's a logical explanation for everything, rather than you just being a jerk. I do wish you'd told me all this sooner, but I can put that aside, and overall I am not mad at you. I want you to know this, because not being on good terms with you sucked for me and for everyone else who you didn't hang out with because of me. Maybe some time in the near future we should even think about getting the band back together, especially since Dave keeps asking about it. I'm really glad you're getting help with your depression. I hope everything works out well. Alright, well, I hope I'll talk to you tomorrow. -Aidan.
P.S. You spelled "again" wrong in the subject.
Exactly twenty-five minutes later, he sent this email back:
=P I'll spell it wrong as much as I pleaase
anyways....yeah...I was a jerk...totally...and pretty much I deserve to be shot on that one XD (note the dead smiley and not random typo you need to look at is kinda sideways)
Sorry it took me this long to clear it up, I guess I just: a) wanted to wait until I know I wouldn't say smoething stupid b) didn't want to hurt you any more than I had to, though in retrospect I didn't really help on that aspect
and my depression is essentially gone for the summer daze :-P (it's only affective from late fall into winter) so I'm happy again ^_^
and thanx for getting back to me so soon, it gives me at least some peace of mind
-Adam
ps (ok I know ps is completely useless in email but I felt like writing one anyways) GET ON IM I haven't talked to you in the longest time and it would be nice to catch up ^_^
So... I got on IM, and he was on, and we talked. There were a few awkward pauses, but for the most part, good conversation. Today he showed up to talk at Greg's locker for about five minutes and then slipped away. But he actually approached the group I was in and joined it. So, you know, it's a step. Otherwise, no contact with him, but it didn't seem like he was avoiding me. He IS really quiet. You have to understand that. Why else would he send me emails instead of calling me or something?
Anyway, I still haven't really sorted everything out. It seems like I'm hoping that he wants me back, but I'm not even sure about that. I might just be really glad to have a friend back and know that he isn't a big liar and probably loved me at some point. I really don't know. What do you guys think? I mean, I know I have to sort things out for myself eventually, but if you read his email, and especially if you know my whole sad story, your input would be greatly appreciated.
A, Does he want me back? and B, If he does, should I take him back?
Loading comments...