Mr. Potter! in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

I thought of a metaphor. Or a literary allusion. Or a way of describing something via something else.

And it involves Harry Potter.

While Harry was growing up, he felt ostracized and different. A common feeling among many children. Then he went to Hogwarts and, while he still felt different and a bit picked on at times, he made friends and began to discover who he really was. But every summer, he would have to return to his original world of feeling ostracized and different. A world where he couldn’t use his talents and gifts and would be punished for doing so. But after every summer, he was able to return to the world of magic and friendship. Granted, that world was dangerous and had problems of its own… but it was far better for Harry than his previous world experiences. After all, even being hunted by a Dark Wizard can be accepted if it is the price one pays for the opportunity to truly be oneself.
Now… imagine an even darker ending to the series than originally published.

Harry dies and returns, defeats Voldemort, and the Wizarding World is saved! But it came at too great a cost. The process of dying and returning, coupled with Harry’s connection to The Dark Lord, has rendered Potter entirely powerless. The Boy Who Lived is now The Boy Who Became Human. He is banished from The World of Wizards and sent to live in the Human World for the rest of his days. Never again to be a part of magic. Sure, Hermoine and Ron visit once in a while… but eventually, the trio loses their connection and Hermoine and Ron don’t even invite Harry to their wedding.

Harry lives out the rest of his days in a semi-depressed stupor remembering the life he once had; a heavy weight upon his chest at finally having felt At Home somewhere only to have it pulled out from under him. He gets his High School Equivalency (since there are no Credit Transfers for Potions Class) and attempts to go to University. He goes through the motions, picks up a degree in Botany and attempts to find a job. Best he can do for his first ten years out is Assistant at a Florist’s. The Boy Who Lived… became The Boy Who Became Human… became The Guy That Helps Cut Tulips.

That is my metaphor.

Moving on from there… today I will dedicate the entire day to two things.
(1) Moving my Jury Trial along. Fingers crossed but as to the Electronic Filings, I hope to be finished today. Or at least, as finished as my research suggests I need to be. Still a rather foul thing to expect a first year to solo a Jury Trial, but I have to make do.
(2) Organize my cases. Another one of those “Use technology, you wrinkled bint!” moments… but I’ve been missing certain hearing dates because I haven’t kept my Weekly Case Sort the way I should. So it is on me for dedicating more time to my cases and less time to filing. But at the same time… Attorneys who have secretaries or Attorneys who have modern computers don’t have to spend 3 hours a day on Case Management.

Things like that (both, actually) make me truly hopeful (if concerned) for the upcoming Interviews for County Attorney. If we hire someone with a genuine passion and desire to make this Department Functional… that would be fantastic!

As to notes: I certainly do google and send requests to my law school friends and colleagues. Hell, without doing so I would never have made it as far in this job as I have. So, through that, I am doing what I must to survive. But is it truly too much to ask that I do more than limp along, fighting to stay above water? Every single person I know from Law School (even the ones that opened their own practice) have another attorney that works in their building from whom they can gain assistance. That is largely where my madness and despair and panic arise. I am literally as “on my own” as it gets for lawyers (of any age) and with my limited experience… I reserve the right to be stomach-churningly freaked out about it. I am not a victim… though I often come off that way. I am a man trying to survive a shitty situation. And while I am trying to survive that situation; I am trying to improve it (difficult in an area consumed by poverty and government corruption). But more importantly, for my mental health… for my comfort levels… and for my wife… while I am trying to survive this situation; I am also trying to leave it. Everyone has a place where they feel comfortable. For some… it is London and a population of 8.7 million people. For some… it is Tokyo and a population of 13.6 million. For others… it is Wapello and a population of 2,000. For others… it is Seattle and a population of 652,000. It would be just as wrong for someone from Tokyo to belittle someone from Wapello as it is for someone from Seattle belittling someone from London. And if you know what your comfort is… don’t you owe it to yourself to be where you are comfortable? That is where I am with that. My wife and I now, truly and unquestioningly, know where we need to be. Preferred population between 400,000-600,000. AND we would both like to live closer to our families. So that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to get a job somewhat in my field that pays at least a living wage in an area where we’d be comfortable that is close to our family. So… yeah. Trying to survive this job, trying to survive this town, trying to find a job, and trying to find a job in a specific area. Thus: stress and panic. Especially as the job market is still pretty rough for people with my… limited but present skill set.

GOOD NEWS is that tonight Wife and I drive back to Parents. I get to spend time with dog… DOG! (note for later) I get to see friends and hang out with people that I know and like. And I get to go to Church and be with people. AND, if there was anything Wife or I needed… we could go to a place that has it. So… hopefully, this will be an excellent weekend at least.

(Note for Later: I recently realized something important. Or at least, important to me. Tiny Town does not have fences. No fences at all. None. LARGE cat population but there are some dogs. These dogs are either left outside much like the cats or they are chained up. I don’t wish to belittle anyone’s choices but… from my own personal experience… a dog on a chain makes me sad. I have always much preferred a dog in a fenced in backyard. Open room to run, play, enjoy a sense of freedom while still being kept safe and close to the family. A chain simply seems too… captive for my taste. Thus, I think subconsciously, being in neighborhoods with fences now makes me feel considerably more comfortable and at ease.)

Last updated October 21, 2016