March depression is lifting, but obsession persists. I've started trying to relive the making out again. I think I'm afraid that if I don't, it'll just go away and it will be like it never happened. I guess part of me doesn't want it to go away. It's not that I want the real Adam to be my boyfriend again. The real Adam and the Adam of my fantasies are really two completely seperate people. I'm pretty sure I don't like the real Adam. But I don't know. It's confusing.
Anyway, today was generally good socially. It was especially nice when the fire alarm went off and we ended up spendind a good hour in the field house because there was an actual fire. There are a lot of rumers about what actually happened, (you know how high school is) but there seems to be a general consensus that the fire started in a bathroom on the second floor. I've heard everything from people smoking pot to a kid intentionally setting a soap dispenser on fire. All I know is that the halls smelled like burnt plastic. Anyway, we stood around in this big group and talked, and it was generally pretty chaotic. We were all hoping for a riot or something, ("we" being me, Molly, Dave, Kevin, Jenn, Sam, Eric, Paul the music in the community kid, and a few assorted band people.) but we ended up just going back to class. Aw. It was still fun.
At lunch Molly said to me "Ok, so I'm not clear on what Jenn and Sam's relationship is right now. Because Sam told me they broke up, but they were hanging out a lot today."
"I don't know," I said. "Hey Dave... oh, never mind," I said as he gave me a look. He doesn't keep track of this kind of thing.
"Because they could be back together. I mean, they did break up before... Or they could just be broken up but ACTUALLY still friends."
"Yeah," I muttered.
"What a novel idea," said Molly, glancing over at Adam. I didn't say anything.
"Oh yeah, Aidan," said Dave, "speaking of wierd relationship things, we haven't had band practice in a while..."
"...And I don't think we're going to have band practice for a while," I said through my teeth. There was a short awkward pause.
"Ok," said Molly, "Who's the better guitarist, you or Adam?"
"Me," I said without much hesitation.
"Well then, logically, Adam's out of the band."
Dave shook his head. "All I can do is laugh at high school relationships. They're like, almost as bad as middle school ones. In fact, they're almost worse, because by high school you should know better." Molly laughed.
"I don't know," I said. "They're still kind of silly, but I think it's hard to top middle school relationships in terms of silliness."
"Yeah, like how I 'went out' with Tom, but we never went on a single date anywhere."
"Yeah, me neither," I said.
Dave laughed. "See? Just ridiculous."
I didn't have money today, so he bought me lunch. "So I owe you three bucks," I said afterwards. "Whatever," he said.
I guess I'm going to the Java Jam tonight. Too bad, since Maunday Thursday is the one day of the year that I like going to church. I'm going to call Emma and Helen and see if they can go, since Molly is going to her church's Maunday Thursday service. I'm going because it turns out Julian AND Eric are in it. So I really have no excuse anymore. It's Eric's birthday today. I really hope they announce it on stage. When he walked in to math this morning, he said "Yay, two tests on my birthday!"
"Are you taking the permit test today?"
"...Yay, three tests on my birthday!"
When I saw him in the field house, he said to someone, "It's my birthday, and I have four tests."
"Wait, Eric, I thought you only had three."
"Yeah, I've decided to count the Java Jam as a test."
Lately in Latin we've been playing four dimentional tic-tac-toe. This actually started during band season as an inside joke between me, Dave and Adam, but since Latin started we've developed it into an actual game. It's actually not that hard to figure out - think of 3D tic-tac-toe as three tic-tac-toe boards lined up. You can win in one board, or you can do things like playing in the upper left hand corner of each board. Or, to take it a step further, the upper left of the left board, the upper middle of the middle board, and the upper right of the right board. 4D tic-tac-toe is 9 tic-tac-toe boards in a square. In any row of three, horizontal, vertical, or diagonal, you can play the same combinations as you would in 3D tic-tac-toe. The way we play, you keep trying to get three in a row until all the squares are filled up, and you keep score. Otherwise the person who goes first has too much of an advantage. Anyway, this usually takes up most of class. There's actually strategy involved too, which is cool.
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