Brief & Redundant in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

Bah.
I’m tired. The kind of tired where I want to sleep for seven months in a row. The kind of tired where it would be really nice to contract some horrible disease that lays me up in the hospital for a year. Tired.

Zero new leads on job opportunities.
More certain every day that the sooner we get out of here the better.

I’ve been thinking about Haunted House Movies.
The humorist always says, “If your house is haunted, move!”
To which I always objected. It isn’t exactly that easy. Sure you can abandon the house… and lose all the money you’ve spent on it. Sure you can abandon the house… and continue to lose money as you are still on the hook for the mortgage. But just picking up and leaving isn’t that easy. If you have kids, you have to worry about schools. If you have jobs, you have to worry about careers. If your house is haunted… it really isn’t as easy as “move!”

I’ve been thinking that is like our situation these days.
A humorist would say, “If shit sucks so bad, move!”
To which I have to object. It isn’t exactly that easy. Sure we could move. We could pack up our house and try to cram all of those things back into a one bedroom apartment in Des Moines. Live closer to family, live in a town that isn’t draining the life out of everything in it. Wife would go back to working full time at Wal Mart. Sure she hates the job, but at least she would be in a better store. I would go back to looking for work full time. Sinking into a depression with each unproductive, fruitless day… wading through rejections and No Returned Phone Calls. On my triangle of need.... Money, Community/Location, Job Satisfaction. While I only have one pillar (money)… it would be insanely difficult to bail for another situation where only ONE pillar is met. Because sure… Community/Location would be great for my mental health… temporarily. But the routine lack of productivity would drive me to the same mental place I’m in now (because lack of productivity is part of what I hate about my job). And the rapidly dwindling bank account would drive me to a place of such tension and anxiety that I would feel ill everyday.

No. As foul as it is, we have to stay in “The Haunted House.” Better to slowly succumb to the Ghosts right now.