energy in 2016

8:14pm

Well, I didn’t get enough sleep last night either. It seems that insomnia has really grabbed a hold of me and is refusing to let go.

The night after I woke up at 4 in the morning I actually had a good sleep. Like a full solid night. But I haven’t had another one since. This morning didn’t seem like it would be too bad, but then it was 3:30 and I was up and I didn’t manage to get back to sleep until almost 7 [with an 8am wake up].

I feel like I have this nervous energy running through me. And I’m going to go ahead and blame this all on TF, even the insomnia! I mean, don’t tell him I said that, but it’s for real.

It’s like I’m constantly waiting for him to say something, or waiting to say something, or just my mind is running over everything. Over-thinking and over-analyzing about someone is clearly nothing new for me. This feels so different though. I’ve never had this kind of energy running through me on such a consistent basis. I’m not even sure what my brain/body is waiting for? I should be able to relax and I just can’t.

Is this what it’s going to be like all the time? I don’t know if I can handle that. I’d almost rather cut my losses right now. Not really. But almost.

Also, what am I supposed to do to make this go away?

Sleep. I think I need more sleep.

rose.
11:41pm