Inspiration in A new era
- Sept. 23, 2016, 4:18 p.m.
- |
- Public
So very often our patients tell us how they’re inspired by what we do, by how gracious and understanding we are when faced with the things we see during our work day. They have a lot of time to sit and just watch what we do, and very often compliment us on how we go about things.
But what many of them don’t realise are the lessons they teach us, personally and professionally. They don’t even consider that they inspire us to be better at our jobs, better at home, just to be better. To keep striving to improve.
One of my patients was told this week that there is no further treatment for his cancer. And he has taken that news on with such dignity, and humour, that I can’t help but be impressed. He’s been an almost constant fixture on the ward since diagnosis 9 months ago and we’ve often joked about him being around so much he’ll be getting an invite to the ward Christmas night out.
He’s just one of those people that has always touched me. You shouldn’t have favourites, we all know that, but sometimes, as anyone who nurses will tell you, you just can’t help it. He has such a lovely family and so clearly worships his wife and understands the value of love, be it her, his kids, his grandkids. He’s such a proud man, in himself and of his family, and it shines out of him.
We were having this conversation at midnight last night, he was telling me that there’s nothing down for him, and we were talking about what he wants to achieve in the coming weeks/months while he’s able. We spoke a lot about getting out there and living life while he feels well, and not sitting around waiting for the inevitable.
And of course he spoke a lot about his wife, she’s not entirely well, with a big cardiac history and they’ve essentially looked after each other, particularly since the beginning of this year when he was diagnosed. He talked about all the things he wants to do around the house while he’s still here, to make things easier for her when he’s gone.
He’s just one of those people who’s a genuine honest to goodness family man. I’ve been lucky to have had the opportunity to have some really good chats with him, especially on night shifts in quiet moments. He told me earlier this year about his experience at Hillsborough, about being on the pitch and trying to help young football fans, and the devastating moment he realised one of those youngsters hadn’t survived. He told me about the court case surrounding it, how he was called as a witness, and commended for his actions. He cried as he told me how ashamed he was that he couldn’t sit in court to hear the harrowing stories of each of the 96 victims families. He was one of the head stewards at Anfield for 23 years (non UK readers/non football fans, have a Google). What a legacy in its own right, what a career.
For me, it’s one of the absolute privileges of my job, that people share their lives, their hopes, their fears, the joy and despair in that life. It’s like being trusted with the most precious secrets, the middle of the night things that keep you awake, the things that play over and over in your mind. These are the things that people tell us. The things they don’t even want to admit to themselves most of the time, these are the things we know they’re wrestling with and gently encourage them to share.
It just makes you realise how short life is, how precious every moment is. It’s so easy to lose sight of that in the day to day of everyday life, when you’re arguing about who left the milk out the fridge, or who didn’t put the bin out. I have patients who would give their right arm to be home, and well, and for that to be their biggest worry.
It does make me think about joey, and our future. As we face such uncertainty about starting our family, it reminds me of how upset I was when mum was ill, to think she might never have grandchildren, and might never see me as a mother. I feel so lucky that she recovered and will have that chance, however difficult it might be for us to get there. And it makes me hopeful that I’ll one day be having these conversations, where I’m able to tell people how proud of my family I am.
There are days where I come home and can’t help but be grateful for the people I have in my life. Because that’s the thing, at the end of the day. All the possessions in the world, the house, the car, the clothes, the holidays, they count for nothing. They’re not the things that will be sat around your hospital bed or holding your hand when you’re unwell. Ultimately the only thing that matters is surrounding yourself with people you love and who love you.
Xx
I need tea. ⋅ September 24, 2016
Xxxxxx