bold moves in 2016

9:47pm

Well, that crisis is over.

This really is a place where I can vent and dish about all the insane thoughts that travel through my head. It’s so much easier, and nicer, to get them out some where. I hate having to live with them all cooped up like that. So thank you for listening [whoever may be out there/future self?] and thank you for not judging. Sometimes the overthinking just comes with the territory and I know and accept this. It’s just a part of life. There’s no changing that. It won’t be the first or last time it happens, I’m sure.

Which is to say that I got a text from TF around 10:30 this morning. He chastised me for not having sent a single text. I said that I thought it was his turn, he insisted it was mine, and then we went on to have a text exchange for pretty much the rest of the day.

He asked if I was working today and I said that I was just going in to meet someone later. His response was one of those “ok, ok” things and then he asked how my weekend was. I asked why he was asking about work, if he needed something. Mostly trying to figure out if he remembered we’d made plans for today. He said he didn’t need anything from my work but that he could use a hug and a kiss.

Uh…wow. Talk about getting bold all of a sudden. Which is so far from my style I didn’t quite know how to react. I won’t retell the whole conversation word for word but basically I called him bold and said that he should probably get to know someone first. He said that it was a good idea sometimes and that we’d basically known each other for 4 or 5 years. [has it been that long??] He also mentioned that I’d asked if he “needed something”’ and yeah. Totally got me there. I said he was funny and that I’d be more specific in the future.

I told him that I didn’t think that counted as knowing me, since I don’t think we’ve ever even seen each other outside the office! And I took the opportunity to give the example that if he did he’d know I was very shy and wouldn’t jump into things. He said he’d picked up on the shyness but that I’d reminded him about getting my number so I could be assertive when needed and that he liked my shyness. ha. I said that I didn’t know how long he’d drag the number thing out so I went for it but that basically I was trying to say I’d be better at the friend thing right now.

He said that that was fine. He wasn’t trying to get married just yet and something about “damn girl slow down.” Haha. Before I could respond he asked if we were going to hang out, something friendly, like the movies. I said another fact he should know is that I don’t mess around and have to be straight forward. There were some jokes, and mis-typed texts on his part about “getting some” and I said he’d better look a lot further. He insisted later that that text came out wrong. Then because I was quiet [I was heading to work!] he wrote out my name with a bunch of question marks.

We switched topics and I asked what he was up to because I thought he was working. He said he was and I said it must be easy if he gets to sit around and text me all day. It was about 3pm at this point. His response: “well I have a crush on you Rose. So I make the time.” Uh? haha. Dude. I just told you I only wanted to be friends, what’s your deal? But because I didn’t respond right away he asked when we were going to hang out. I told him that he might regret saying that after he got to know me [the crush thing] and said I was waiting for him to buy me a drink. He brought up that we’d agreed on Thursday and I said it was almost over and figured he’d stand me up. He agreed that he probably would regret the statement [good for him to play along with the jokes!] and asked if I was still up for a drink.

We started trying to figure out details. I was mostly leaving it up to him and he was the first to say that it wouldn’t be in town. Which is fine. Most of the people that know me wouldn’t care, but I’m going to guess a lot of people know him and that would totally start the rumor mill in this tiny town. We’re bound to run into at least one person. We were in the middle of deciding where to go, and who was driving, when he called. He said that he was going to end up being stuck at work late [Excuse? I don’t know.] and that he’d call when he got out. I, of course, took the opportunity to tell him that he really was going to stand me up and he said no way. Blah blah.

He shot me another text around 7pm saying he’d just gotten out and I said that it wasn’t that bad. That I’d hoped it was worth missing out on the drink. Because why not flirt a little at this point? ;) He didn’t respond but I’m assuming if he’s home there’s no signal. I’ll probably get a reply early tomorrow.

Today would have been a good day though. I was feeling good! First day of Autumn and the weather was amazing! This morning there was an actual chill in the air and I was so excited for that cool breeze. I actually said it felt like Fall before I realized the date. Plus I was wearing a cute sweater [finally!] and looked really great. =) So yeah, would have been nice to finally get together. I definitely need to spend some time with him in person to make any sort of judgement. But oh well. Tomorrow I already have plans [though I could break them for the right opportunity…] and then I’m basically gone for the next two weeks. We’ll see how it goes. I just wanted to record for record’s sake. :)

Bed time now.

rose.
11:41pm