radio silence in 2016

7:52pm

Well, today was alright. Another work day.

I actually finished all my continuing ed classes so that was exciting! Kind of. That last class was super boring. My eyes started glazing over after like the first five slides. But I made it and that’s what counts. =) Hopefully they’ll transfer them all soon and I can renew my license in the next week or so. I have until the end of October so I should be more than fine.

In other news: Wednesday has passed and I have had zero communication with TF.

Now, I don’t want to make a big deal out of this. Y’all know that I tend to over-analyze everything ever, but I’ll try to make this brief. I just want to get it down for the sake of getting it out of my head. It’ll help cut down on the crazy that lives up there. =|

Seriously though. Not a single word. No text, phone call, or anything. I know he knows I work today. But I thought I’d hear from him since we had agreed on hanging out either tonight or tomorrow. Even if it was tomorrow, wouldn’t you think someone would get back in touch by now? I mean, what’s he gonna do? Call me up after work tomorrow and ask if I’m hungry for dinner? That’s b-s.

And I’m kinda sad, though I won’t admit it out loud.

It’s just annoying to get your hopes up, or to have expectations for something, and then sit around while it falls apart. I mean, what’s the point?

Why can’t things just be straight up and easy? Like, I don’t know what is going on, but I can’t imagine a person who could keep their mind from wandering. Was it the picture thing? Was it because of the fb thing? I can’t believe that either one of those would be a big deal, unless someone was uber sensitive, but what else could it possibly be? Does it even have anything to do with me? It’s hard to think that it could be totally irrelevant to our situation.

I don’t know. I don’t know what to think, or feel, or how to act about any of this. Or how to react to any of it. I do know that he’s a big talker that doesn’t always follow through. There isn’t much else I know about him though. I don’t know his personality, or what triggers/buttons he has. I don’t know how he feels about the world or what his emotions are like. Basically I know nothing other than what he shows in the office and we all know that people don’t act the same in an office as they do in real life.

It’s just hard to believe that someone would try so hard, or so long, just to get my number and then act all weird and disappear. Honestly, I’m not sure what I’ll do or say if he does happen to get in touch tomorrow. And if he doesn’t say anything? What do I do then. I definitely want to say something. I’ll probably make a joke at the end of the day if nothing else comes up.
If he does get in touch, I am tempted to ignore the whole thing. I’ll basically be gone the next two weeks and we aren’t connected well enough for it to matter. My only concern would be the way it would affect our business. It wouldn’t matter to me either way, I’m not invested enough in this, but I don’t know how he’d take it.

Yes, I’m over-analyzing. Yes, I already admitted that I would do that. But the easiest thing in the world is to pour all these thoughts out in here and move on. It’s the only way. Otherwise I’ll sit and stew. I won’t sleep and I won’t be able to pull myself out of my own head. So here it is. The thoughts that rule the mind of an introvert who cannot control her over-thinking tendencies. It’s the only way to keep it all under control. To keep myself from going crazy.

Stay tuned, I guess. I’m sure there will be at least one more update on this whole thing.

sigh

rose.
9:46pm