HELL in HUBBY

I’VE HAD A DIFFICULT FEW MONTHS. I AM FALLING APART. I AM “FIGHTING” WITH MY DAUGHTER. I DON’T KNOW WHY SHE DIDN’T STAY IN TORONTO/ I KNOW SHE IS WORRIED ABOUT HER FATHER. HER FATHER IS DYING BUT A VERY SLOW DEATH. I CAN’T COPE WITH THE UPS AND DOWNS. I FINALLY TOOK TODAY OFF. USUALLY I GO TOT HE HOSPITAL FROM 1-6 OR 7. TODAY I LET MY DAUGHTER GO ALONE. I AM SO TIRED, UPSET AND AT THE END OF MY ROPE.SHE ALWAYS SETS ME OFF. I’M OK IF I JUST SIT WITH MYHUBBY.. THEN COME HOME EAT AND GO TO SLEEP. QUIET. I NEED PEACE. SHE JUST PUSHES MY BUTTONS. SHE WANTS TO DO EVERYTHING SHE CAN TO KEEP HIM ALIVE. I DON’T AGRRE. HE CANNOT MOVE. HE CAN’T FEED HIMSELF. THEY DON’T OUT HIM IN A CHAIR ANYMORE SO WE CAN TAKE HIM OUT. HE DOESN’T TALK MUCH AND IF HE DOES WE DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT HE IS SAYING. I AM BEING TORTURED. I DON’T KNOW WHY I CAN’T AKE IT IN MY STRIDE. I THOUGHT I WAS A STROMNG PERSON. I’M NOT. I’M ALSO VERY JUDGMENTAL AND CRITICAL. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO TOLERANCE OR PATIENCE. PEOPLE JUST MAKE ME CRAXY WITH A CAPITAL C.
I STAYED HOME ALL DAY MOSTLY SLEEPING. NOW I’M WAITING FOR MY DAUGHTER TO COME HOME. THEN MAYBE WE ‘LL GO FOR SUPPER. I’M VERY SAD THAT MY HUBBY HAS OT DIE LIKE THIS. I AM VERY SORRY AND Sd that MY CHILDREN ARE SUFFERING BUT SO AM I BIG TIME.
I WAS PLANNING MY HUBBY AND 8OTH BIRTHDAY PARY FOR SEPTEMBER 25TH. I HAD TO CANCEL IT. I HAD EVERYTHING READY. ANYONE NEED DECORATIONS FOR AN 80 YEAR OLD PARTY? I GUESS I’LL SEND IT BACK TO AMAZON. MY HUBBY WANTED TO GO TO TORONTO. MY CRAZY KIDS WANTED TO TAKE HIM. I DON’T KNOW WHY THEY DON’T ACCEPT THAT HE IS VERY SICK AND DYING. I HAVE A FEELING HE IS GOING TO HANG ON FOREVER. ON THE OTHER HAND I THINK WE WILL BE SHOCKED WHEN WE GET THAT CALL.
ANYHOW TIME TO RELAX SOME MORE AND WAIT FOR MY DAUGHTER TO COME HOME OR CALL. SHE XPECTS TOO MUCH FROM ME. ONCE MY HUSBAND DIES I THINK I WILL BE SPENDING ALOTY OF TIME ALONE TRAVELLING. WHO KNOWS? I KEEP WONDERING HOW I WILL REACT.