Foppish Popinjay in New Beginnings
- Sept. 4, 2016, 7:09 p.m.
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- Public
I got to talk to Jacquelyn again on Monday, and I can say definitively that nothing will happen if for no other reason that I may be a d-bag.
I finally saw her walk into the kitchen area next to my desk. I immediately checked my water bottle, which was mostly full. Then I remembered my bowl. I eat breakfast at the office, usually oatmeal I prepare using hot water from the coffee machine, and I hadn’t yet washed it. Opportunity! I was able to make polite conversation while she filled her thermos and I washed my dish, and I discovered that she has a child…two of them…twins…who are only two years of age.
I don’t want children. I don’t want to be a parent. I’ve discussed this issue in previous entries, which I won’t rehash here and now. I wouldn’t reject the notion of ending up with a woman who already had a child, depending on the circumstances. I mean, with each successive year, single moms make up more of my dating pool, so I need to be open to the possibility. However, dating a woman with twin two year olds seems like I would have no idea what I was getting into. Doing so feels less like punching above my weight class and more like picking a fight with a silverback gorilla.
Compounding all that is the fact that we work in the same office. Navigating a work romance can already be complicated. Throwing kids into the mix may ramp the complication up to the level of calculus based theoretical physics. Of course, it’s not like I have a lot of relationship experience to begin with. She’s clearly needs a guy who’s at the advanced level of dating and relationships whereas I’m still using my training wheels/water wings/etc.
Logically, I don’t think I’m being horrible. An attractive woman gave me an impression that she found me somewhat comely, and I wanted to find out more about her. I did just that, and the situation seems like a perfect storm of potential drama that would best be avoided. Like I said, I still feel like a tool, though; like that guy single moms describe as leaving a man shaped hole in the wall at the first mention of their kids.
whowhatwhere ⋅ September 04, 2016
Better to know now than later.
And it would be different if the kids were say older teens, young kids are a whole other matter.
Star Maiden whowhatwhere ⋅ September 07, 2016
^^that
Small Town Girl ⋅ September 08, 2016
Damn bummer! 100% feel your pain! Single at 32, most men have kids already too. Divorced with kids, and major child support bills to pay. Nope. Not for me! I, like you will probably have to resolve to being single forever, or accepting a man with kids. Sad as that is. It is what it is. However, his kids have to be older! Much older than two! I am not raising someone else's kids, and I am NOT doing crying fits and poopy diapers!
Marg ⋅ September 25, 2016
I would still let things develop as friends though and not get too hung up on the relationship aspect. It would be a shame to let this get in the way of two people who have made a connection
Unless your mind is very definitely made up.
Robbo Marg ⋅ September 25, 2016
I've hardly seen her since then. Perhaps once, I saw her head into the kitchen area while I was talking to another coworker. She gave me a smile and that was it. I get the impression that I might have read too much into our initial exchanges.
Marg Robbo ⋅ September 26, 2016
Maybe but at least you have the chance to see her at work on a daily basis. She may be drawing back a little because of her kids in the sense that she might think no-one will want to take her on in a relationship sense because of that?