Turd's Day in BookThree: Flight Log 2016

  • Sept. 2, 2016, 3:20 a.m.
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Woke up this morning before the alarm. Which sucks because I woke up at 1 am… fell back asleep… woke up at 5:30 am… bah humbug. Got out of bed and played video games, though. That was good. I don’t usually have the time or opportunity to fit video games into my schedule much any more. At least ,not video games at home. Facebook and cell phone games is a different story.
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RANDOM TMI:
This is both TMI sexually related and TMI emotionally related…
I am a 32 year old man. I am a married man. I have a full time “traditional career” job that pays me a mildly decent amount (all things considered). And yet… I would have to admit that I masturbate no less than once a week. And that fact, honestly (even if it doesn’t logically make sense), makes me feel like a bit of a failure. Like I never grew up… never became the kind of Adult Man I thought I would be. I figured… career, marriage… I knew I’d have to find a middle ground… my libido minus wife’s libido and somewhere in there we’d find a happy middle road. I don’t know. I can imagine that (like usual) I’m being too hard on myself. Kind of a regular, recurring trait of mine.
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OH… CLEANING DAY!
Every Thursday I go through this and I still haven’t come to a complete decision as to how I feel. The county has contracted the cleaning of all government buildings through an organization that exclusively hires the developmentally disabled. So individuals of widely varying mental abilities come through here once a week to “clean.” I use quotes there because some of the people do a good job, some of them don’t do anything, and all of them make as much noise as possible while they are here. Today was more of the latter parts of that mess. The young man tasked with vacuuming enjoyed the machine making noises and ran up and down the hall with the machine going. But didn’t go into any of the offices to vacuum. After going up and down the hallway for a solid 30 minutes, he stops the vacuum and just… wanders away. So the social worker “babysitter” tries to bring him back to the vacuum and at least have him put it away. However, she also takes the half-second required to look into an office room and see that… yeah, the offices haven’t been touched with a vacuum yet. She tells him that he isn’t finished with vacuuming and he must vacuum the offices. He… has a tantrum. Starts crying, starts demanding she be nicer to him, says that nobody else gets to use the vacuum but he tells the vacuum what to do and he isn’t doing THAT… it becomes this big production. And as much as I appreciate giving the developmentally disabled jobs and a sense of independence… I also fall back onto my perpetual agitation that there is no corner of this county that could be said to be a protective bastion for professionalism. Can you imagine going to your Veteran’s Affairs representative and being confronted (as soon as you enter the building) with an adult throwing a high energy tantrum? Can you imagine a child coming to visit the social worker and seeing a large adult flailing and shouting? Let alone any citizen that would wish to come visit the County Attorney. Yeah… just… very mixed feelings about this cleaning arrangement.
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LOSING A DISTRACTION
So… for the ultimately 3 of you who may not know… I like comic books. Haven’t been able to collect in a while (first due to money, now due to isolation). However, for several years I have played a game on Facebook called Marvel Avenger’s Alliance that sought to bring in lots of different stories and characters from the Marvel Universe. It was a fun game and I even gave them some of my money (which is something I almost NEVER do for allegedly “free” games). They spun out into an offshoot game that I played for the approximately three weeks before they shut that game down; but I stayed with the Original Game as they continued to add to it, keep it interesting, and bring stories from the comic books to the game world. In fact, I learned about characters that I hadn’t been familiar with previously like Skirn and Kate Bishop. It was nice. Somewhat recently, they developed and released a sequel for the game; but I wanted to finish the first game before moving on to the second. After all, there were still a lot of story lines in the first game I hadn’t had time or opportunity to investigate. I signed on this morning and there were three announcements.
1: The Original Game would be completely shut down as of September 30th. No updates, no support, no access. Thanks for playing, the game is going away.
2: The Sequel Game and all other related content will be completely shut down as of September 30th. No updates, no support, no access. Thanks for giving Marvel Comics Games a fun home on Mobile and Facebook; but Disney Interactive has pulled the plug on damned near everything.
3: NEW Limited Time Mission, unlock new characters and new storylines while they last!
..... so… fuck Disney Interactive for once again thinking “Comic Book Games shouldn’t be compelling, character driven, or story driven… they should be for children… goofy beat ‘em ups and educational games! Bastards. But then also… the INSANITY of pushing a New Mission Branch with New Characters… because… announcing that you are shutting a game down is the perfect time to announce new content to that game. Ridiculous.
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WoRk Frustration… because THAT phrase is misplaced, lol.
So… there are required procedures that must happen prior to a Probation Revocation. (1) I’m new still and haven’t been trained in this shit. (2) When I ask to be trained in this shit, I get nowhere. (3) There is no clear division of cases and defendants… therefore, I need my boss to tell me which Revocations are mine, or if they are all mine, or if she is going to take any, or what the hell is going on. (4) All of that being said… we missed serving someone with proper notice as to a Revocation of Probation. And I still don’t know if that is my fault or not. But, as Boss is ever more rapidly slipping towards full-on dementia… I’m sure I’ll take the blame.
alt textShit rolls downhill. So when the Top People look down, they only see shit; and when the Bottom People look up, they only see assholes.

Other than that what is work today?
YOU guessed it… clean the office, organize my Upcoming Cases and Deadlines list (while swallowing my bitterness that most other areas have a digital system that does this for them) and then hope that I don’t discover some massive fuck up in the process. “Government Efficiency”… the experience of using $2,000 worth of labor in order to keep from spending $1500 on new technology.


Amaryllis September 02, 2016

Yeah, your libido minus wife's libido = compromise is a tough question, isn't it? At least in my marriage, the more emotional person seems to always come out ahead in these compromises, in our case that's my husband. He gets tantrumy or moody when he doesn't get is way, and I'm pretty chill, so our 'compromises' usually consist of me doing whatever makes him happy because tantrums are exhausting. In our case, that's sex once or twice a week, despite me not ever really wanting it. If it were a horrible experience for me (like it sounds like it might be for your wife? Not sure?) I might be more vocal about my preference, but it's kind of a 'meh' issue for me so I am happy to let him have the much better part of the deal.

It sounds like in your marriage, you're the 'tougher' one so you let her win most of the time. I totally understand that, as I am in the same situation, and am not really sure what to do to overcome it.

If my husband / your wife were throwing tantrums and having moods INTENTIONALLY to win discussions, it would be emotional manipulation, but my husband certainly doesn't do it on purpose, and hopefully your wife doesn't either.

Deleted user September 02, 2016

It sounds like you have to put up with frustration in too many areas of your life :-( It's amazing you stay as patient as you do .

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