dresses and bow ties in 2016

6:35pm

It’s nice to have a couple of days off with zero items on the social and/or work calendars. I always forget how serious the need for recharge time is until I’ve suddenly lost it.

Work was busy last week, I think I mentioned that. People are showing up out of nowhere. There are plans for more to show up this week because apparently they like the work my mother does [duh!]. We didn’t end up going to the Expo though. When I went in early Tuesday to check for packages there was a message from the coordinator that they had to cancel due to the smoke. It was too thick from the fires and the command was worried so they postponed for another day [later in Sept.].

We ended up at the casino on Mom’s birthday instead. It was nice not to have to work. I figured we’d hang out and have a free day off but I knew Mom couldn’t just sit around. That would be more like my kind of birthday. hah. So I sucked it up and convinced her we needed to go. We left early in the morning and grabbed breakfast on the way. It wasn’t so bad. I didn’t win anything. Mostly lost all of the winnings I made in Nebraska [geez I don’t think I ever wrote about that! I’m bad at this!]. So it wasn’t the best day in terms of winning but she seemed to have fun. We hit the buffet for lunch/dinner and I super over ate. Like I had to pace around afterwards so that I wouldn’t hurl up all the food I’d eaten. heh. Whoops. =\ Lesson (kinda) learned. We didn’t stay long after that and made it home in the late evening.

On Tuesday, after packages, we’d gone to the great mall to search for a dress for Y’s wedding. By some miracle I was able to walk the entire mall without completely dying, although I was pretty exhausted by the time I finally made it out to the car. I tried on a lot of dresses too, which is kind of a discouraging thing. They only seem to sell dresses for size 2s these days so yeah. Not the best thing for your self-esteem, but I survived ok. And in the end I did find a dress. It wasn’t my first choice but I didn’t go all that way to not buy anything. It’ll do and I can wear it for other things as well. Plus I found a nice pair of high heels that I wasn’t even looking for. I ran into naturalizer [b/c mom always wants to go there but almost skipped it] and I pulled a pair from the clearance rack not thinking much of it.

By the time I sat down I had some little ladies staring at me. One started to tell me, in her broken English accent, that her sister had bought the same pair several weeks ago but they weren’t on sale. She said a lot of things that I didn’t quite catch so I did a lot of smiling and nodding and got the gist of it. Then as I was trying them on the other lady [I assume the sister] walked by and said those were great shoes. That she saw the sale but couldn’t find her size. That she really wanted a pair. They were amazing. Etc. And I did more smiling and said thanks, because what are you supposed to say? haha. They weren’t even my shoes yet and I was already getting compliments. I’ll take them! ha. They did end up being quite comfortable [and an amazing deal 70% off]. I’m not really a heels kinda girl and having bad knees does not make it easy to walk, but I think these’ll do fine for the wedding. I’ll take some flats just in case.

A little while ago Mom goes, “OH! I forgot to tell you. You invited TF to [wedding town] to go to the wedding with you. He showed up at the house here and he was wearing a bow tie. Not a regular tie, but a bow tie!” She was excited about it. And I’d missed the part about this being a dream so I was confused as she was blurting it all out at me. hah. But then I caught up and just sorta stared at her and asked why the heck she was having dreams about him. haha! Because I’m cool like that and like to turn the tables. She got distracted by something, the phone I think. Then later someone said something that lead to it coming up again. She said it must have been because we were talking about him yesterday, but I reminded her that that was two days ago. haha. I said that I couldn’t even imagine him in a bow tie and she insisted that he looked really good in it. ha! Great. Good to know.

The funny thing, which I didn’t mention to her, is that I had sorta imagined him going to the wedding with me. You know back all those months ago, when things were just starting to turn, and I figured we’d have something going by September. I mean, I sorta knew that it wouldn’t happen but it was fun to imagine going to one of these things with an actual date. At least my friends will be there. All four of us from high school are going to be there, as of now, and it’ll be so fun to reunite to celebrate another wedding! Who needs a cute guy in a bow tie anyway!? =P

I’ve definitely come out on the other side of the whole thing.

I read this today: “FOR THE WEEK OF MONDAY, AUG. 29 — On Tuesday, Mercury stations retrograde in your romance sector. Adding to this will be a Solar Eclipse in the same area of your chart on Thursday. A new beginning in your love life is possible but it demands that you first reconsider your approach in matters of the heart. If you have been trying to achieve the relationship of your dreams using tactics that are clearly not working now is an opportunity to recalibrate your methodology. Love is there … your mind is the only thing getting in the way.”

And although I clearly do not believe in every bit of that, I do believe the part about my mind being the only thing that is getting in my way. I am super over-thinking this whole thing. It’s in my nature to over-analyze and come up with every possible scenario. But I don’t always have to do that. I should be able to just ride this wave. Wherever it may lead. Who cares about his baggage, or mine. Why should I judge the whole thing before I really know anything at all? And who cares about the future?

I keep preaching this whole thing about how we only have one life to live, but I never seem to follow my own path. If this makes me happy why not follow it? Who cares how long it’ll last as long as I’m happy now.

New plan. New motto. I’ve got to go with this; if that’s what it’s supposed to be.

rose.
8:27pm