Things at work have gotten really weird again. It sucks because I fall into a place where it’s comfortable and good and I’m happy and I actually like being here, and then I get wind of the shit that’s going on and I’m like…I need to get the eff out of here.
Last entry I wrote about my boss intercepting my email. I’m sure he does for some reason. One would think he wouldn’t have time for that, but I think he likes to play the game. He wants to make all of the decisions regarding my staff and MY business and then he makes ME deliver the message - he stays completely out of my meetings when I have to be the bearer of news he knows is not going to go over well. And then he wants me to report back to him. I’ve seen him roll his eyes during conference calls with my staff while we’re traveling together. He’s made FUN of my staff. He can be as gossipy as the rest of them.
Late last week I heard about Brown Nosey telling her staff that she’s getting promoted to Director. And see, that’s just the thing - bad behavior is rewarded at this place (she’s a shit manager and people under her have quit and said as much during exit interviews…to which is was given “manager training” AND a promotion?!), and that makes me want to just scream.
And then this morning. I spent ALL morning working on two presentations that I have to give this afternoon. They were mostly done already (I’d previously built the two presentations), but I had to add and then update the financials pages - numbers, calculations, dollars, percentages. I hate to say it…what should have taken me a few minutes took me THREE HOURS and I just finalized my presentation!
If we are supposed to focus on our strengths, I’m afraid I’m not doing it lately. I know what I’m good at and unfortunately, it’s not balancing a spreadsheet. I know that to do this job and run this business I should have much more financial acumen, and I just don’t. At least not to the level that I need. Most of my colleagues have MBAs. In fact, one of my staff has an MBA and the other has like 17 years of experience doing this stuff. I have done well faking it, but it takes me so much longer and you’d think I’d have picked up a lot more in the last 3.5 years. It makes me sick to my stomach.
Though I do have to say that I know a LOT more now than I did going into this job…I just don’t love the numbers part. I’m a creative director in my soul. How do I make that transition now that I’ve been running the business side of it for years?
OK. I have to run. A few more things to do before I have meetings and presentations all afternoon.
Ta…
xo
GS
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