Emotional in BookThree: Flight Log 2016
- Aug. 21, 2016, 11:07 a.m.
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- Public
Briefly, for the record… this weekend has not been good.
Last night wife got back from work and we left for DM. On the trip, Wife was extremely irate and pissy because she couldn’t synch her tablet to the car stereo. After she obsessed over it for 90 minutes, she then looked around outside and started shouting that the GPS in the car sent us “a stupid way”. A way that ultimately only added ten minutes to the drive. No, the tablet never synched to the car. My wife’s free Satellite Radio had to be good enough… which it absolutely wasn’t for her so she bitched the rest of the way here.
Then today, I went to a luncheon with my Dad, Mom, and Brother where my dad nominated my brother for a prestigious club membership. Awesome. Glad to see The Successful Son continue to bask in adulation. After that awards thing, we came back to the Parents’ house to discuss the letter that I had sent my brother and parents. My brother decided to take the perspective that I just needed to change my attitude… that, ultimately, I was the problem. Sister in Law had much better advice about trying to simply use my time and get out. Mom just gave me a hug and talked to Wife as Wife was crying due to how much she hates her life. Dad kind of shrugged his shoulders.
When I went to check on the Wife (apparently) I was doing it in such a way as to irritate her… so she socked me in the gut, hard. In front of my family (who said nothing). When I said, “I don’t like it when you hit me.” She said, “I didn’t even hit you that hard. Stop being so fat.” Then later, just the two of us, I reiterated: I don’t like it when you hit me. To which she said, “You know you revert when you’re here. You act like the little brother and it is irritating.”
Then she started asking, “So when are we moving back here?” Uhm… Wife… I get that we both HATE our situation in Up North County… but (as I said to her) I would like to have a job; I don’t want to just move to a different city and then desperately try to figure out how to earn money. To which she replied, “Before you took the job, the plan was to move here and you wouldn’t have had a job!” Yes, obviously that is a different scenario. No Job versus No Job Different City is significantly different than No Job Good City versus Shitty Well Paying Job in Shitty City. So, she got quiet. Angry. And stormed out. Because my answer wasn’t “Lets move to a new place with no plan and I’ll go back to working retail!” After a bit more discussion… the “solution” was for me to start actively looking for work (as I have been already) and then in X amount of time (x being unknown and debated) we just move anyway even if nothing develops.
Super. Good to know how little has changed… just… everywhere. Wife still feels okay to hit me, call me fat, and act spoiled. We both want OUT of the environment we currently find ourselves in; but once again it is totally and entirely upon me to find a way out. Funny. I thought Chapter 2015: Omaha Exit Strategy was the last chapter… maybe I’m just re-reading it again on accident.
Comfortably Numb ⋅ August 21, 2016
I was going to comment "Tsk. Families" but then read on...
She hit you? Oh HELL naw! Unacceptable. That's abuse. On what planet is that ok? She sounds kinda like a raving c*nt. Argh. Now Im angry for you. >:(
Deleted user ⋅ August 21, 2016
I am so sorry that you were hit by your wife. As Comfortably Numb said, that's unacceptable. It sounds like your wife is very difficult to live with. Have considered divorce?
Deleted user ⋅ August 21, 2016
Totally unacceptable . Your wife is a spoiled brat. Her behavior is rude , verbally and physically abusive. If she wants to move so bad, tell her to come up with a plan to finance it since she is trying to dump all the responsibility on you .
Amaryllis ⋅ August 21, 2016
I'm pretty forgiving of most behavior, my husband says I love to make excuses for everyone ("It's just his sense of humor," "It was a joke," "He had a tough upbringing," "He had a tough day,") but if you are giving a factually accurate report of your wife's behavior, yikes. There are non-crazy women out there who are kind and intelligent, go find one. You are smart and have a good job; those two things together seem to never happen. You're a good catch. Just another reason to get out of your current city, I suppose.
Maybe you're stuck with her and with putting a few years in to this job for your resume? But as soon as you can get another one, I'd leave the city and leave her and start fresh. Look forward to that hope and it will help you have a light at the end of the tunnel for the tough times ahead. Hope is important.
stargazing ⋅ August 21, 2016
I don't care what her reasoning is...it is not ok to hit you and be verbally abusive towards you.
woman in the moon ⋅ August 22, 2016
I notice no one is sticking up for your wife. I'm not either. I realize that this is your diary and you present things as you wish to, but boy I can't see how she has much side in these disagreements.
Park Row Fallout woman in the moon ⋅ August 23, 2016
Yeah, I tend to (at least attempt) to consider her view point... but so often, her viewpoint boils down to "she doesn't know how to communicate when she's feeling particularly emotional and lashes out." It isn't healthy for the relationship and it certainly isn't healthy for her.
Deleted user ⋅ August 22, 2016
Aw man... I'm so sorry about how all of this went down. It's like everything exploded in your face while you were seeking understanding and support... and I guess in a way you do and always will have that familial support, but it sure is nice to have hardships and pain acknowledged, like a simple "nod" to help you move along through the process of leaving a current shitty situation. The stuff with your wife, well. Obviously, that's not cool. On so many levels. That must make you feel so incredibly alone in all this. Her reactions are so over the top. I'm surprised your family didn't come to your defense when she hit you in front of them. She's got to learn to deal with her anger, and it doesn't seem to be working when you're the only one who speaks up about it. You need a few others on your side going, "whoa, cool your jets" to get her to see that this is a major flaw in her personality. One way or another. I'm just sorry you're going through all this. I hope the week gets better. You're doing what you can. (hugs)
Always Laughing ⋅ August 22, 2016
She shouldn't hit you and then be mean about it on top of it, I am sorry she acted that way.
Rhapsody in Purple ⋅ August 23, 2016
Its definitely not appropriate for her to be hitting you. Its disappointing than even when you reminded her of that she didn't care. not a great sign. its shouldn't be relevant how hard it was, its just not acceptable behaviour. I hope she sees that soon.
I had a friend who used to hit her husband but told herself that it was ok because she wasn't as strong as him. but it definitely didn't help things. It just escalated the level of violence in their relationship. They got help and as far as i know they are ok now. but i assume this town of yours has even less in the way of relationship counseling than the last place.
Fawkes Gal ⋅ September 02, 2016
She hits you? She is abusive, and you need to leave her. End of story.