It's been a little while since I've been here. But with holidays and family and stuff it seems to have gotten away from me. Now that the girls are back in school and I'm back at work, schedules are back on track.
My 16 year old has managed to earn her bed back. Many talks and many tears later, she is actually going to give growing up a try. And she has been doing so good with it too.. and reaping the benefits. Also, I have her scheduled for her first therapy session next week.
The 13 year old is baulking the system. She insists on getting into things that are not hers, destroying things of other peoples (along with her stuff) and getting into things without permission. Not sure yet what to do about it. The other day I had her write that she "would not do (whatever infraction it was she did) again without permission" 100 times. With the promise that any further infraction of this type would result in more writing. It is the equivalent to "I will not talk in class" that we had to write when we were young kids in school. I have thought about a dictionary and having her write pages and pages of definitions to words. I also have played with the idea of an encyclopedia. However since her excuse is "I didn't remember" Or "I forgot" I thought perhaps writing it over and over would help her to remember. And should she "forget" again.. If I have her write it twice as many times she will be twice as likely to "remember". Seems like sound logic to me.
These girls are past the point of a good butt beating. And it didn't seem to do the trick when they were at an appropriate age for that.
I also have gotten myself an appointment. If my husband's job and travel plans will work with me, I will be going for my first therapy appointment on the 9th. I also have an appointment with a psychiatrist next week to discuss any medications that might be helpful during my therapy.
My husband is freaking out a little about it. He thinks that meds will change me.. and that therapy might make me regret being with him. His exact words were "Maybe you'll realize I'm a jerk". I'm trying to help him to an understanding. I'm at a crossroads here. And the only reason that I actually feel like I WANT to get better and CAN get better is because I feel like I deserve it now and he is one of the main reasons that I feel that way. He deserves for me to be a better person. And my head drives me insane sometimes.
Anyhow. I'm going to get off of this thing and see what trouble I can get into before work.
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