The giggling gods have corporeal handmaidens in Well now

Vacation almost over.
Sigh.
Got very little done on the task list I optimistically set for myself.

The Good -
My sisters, knowing that I am severely limited on funds lately and would be doing nothing fun during my time off, took me on a brief getaway. We took a one night trip to Biloxi. We stayed at the Beau Rivage Hotel/Casino.

Caroline and I spent the afternoon at the spa while Donnal baked poolside. I’m usually quite body conscious and don’t inflict the sight of me uncovered on anyone, but, dang, a massage followed by a looong stew in the hot tub grotto (three bubbly pools at different temperatures to choose from or migrate through) - can you say “just lovely.”
Then there was buffet decadence, yum, followed by a Cirque du Soleil knock-off show that was very nicely done and enjoyable.
Of course, the casino had to be visited, but only briefly. Even I know the slot machine gambling is just a question of how much money you’re willing to pay to rent time pressing a button on a machine. (The lottery, however, is a matter of Fate in my case.)

All in all, unexpected, absolutely sweet thing for my sisters to treat me to.

The Bad -
The clipboard twins are at it again.
My lovely neighbors with nothing better to do with their time reported me to the parish again and got me cited again.
It all has to do with a double fence situation and some brush growing between the fences along the property line in my BACK yard.
First off - Can you tell me whose business it is what’s growing in my back yard?
And Second - Who the hell gave the clipboard twins permission to go into my back yard in the first place? This wasn’t a situation that could be seen from the street or even from the property directly behind my house.
Those neighbors have a six foot wooden fence on their side of the six inch between fence area. My fence is a very old four foot high chainlink fence. The ivy-looking vegetation was based in the ground between the fences, grew up and cascaded over my fence. The green leafy waterfall actually looked a lot better than the fence which I was planning on replacing just as soon as I have funds for such non-essentials.
Apparently though, the clipboard twins walked on to my property and reported me to the parish. Since the ivy is wild grown and not cultivated, it’s considered weed and my lot was, therefore declared “derelict.” Big red notice on the door giving me notice to immediately remove all vegetation or be fined on an escalating basis.

Okay. I could argue the fact that I like the ivy - but I wouldn’t win.
I could argue it’s my damn yard and out of public sight and what are people doing trespassing anyway - but I wouldn’t win.
I could argue that the plants are coming up from between property edge fences and that the weeds may be actually be on my neighbor’s property and just kind of lounging on my fence, so they’re not legally my problem.
Could I win that argument? Oh, who the hell cares?
It’s not worth the fight.

I could have called a service to come out and remove the greenery, but it’s not easy to get to. Clippers don’t get in between the links of the fence, so it would be labor intensive and expensive to hire to be done. I could poison the area, but that’s just bad and could actually hurt the neighbor’s lawn behind me which is something I wouldn’t want to do.

And that explains why I got on the phone and begged the parish inspector’s office to move my two-day’s notice compliance inspection date from Thursday (when I was in Biloxi) to Monday. For the first time ever in such matters, I played the broken back card.
I called myself “partially disabled”
- which is actually true since I did break my back (gardening ironically!) but something I fight against considering myself because I think denial of such things is a lot healthier than acceptance -
and asked for an extension so I had time to hire someone in to attack the offending green
- which was a lie but I was desperate for extra time.

So I came back from my brief holiday jaunt and spent most of today labouring in the hot Southern summer dismantling a chain link fence so that I could sit on the ground and cut down foliage without straining my back. I actually dragged a box fan outside, snaking yards of extension cord, so that I wouldn’t get myself a nice case of heat stroke. Even so I was drenched within minutes.

Tomorrow I’ll spend a good bit of time chopping up the bits and bagging it all.
(A task that I literally couldn’t do in one sitting.)
The kicker is, I’ll have to drag the bags into my laundry room for temporary storage. In the coming week or two, I’ll put the bags out one at a time in my regular garbage bin. Why would I do such a (stupid ass) thing?
The citation specifically forbids putting this lawn refuse out for normal garbage pickup. Even though there is no limit to the number of bags allowed for normal garbage pick-up, I am forbidden to put my bags out on the curb like everyone else. I am expected to drag my bags full of non-compliance to a landfill or dump as some sort of punishment. So I’ll just have to sneak them out one at a time because the clipboard twins have nothing between to do but complicate my life. I’m absolutely certain that they’d call the parish if they saw my lawn refuse neatly bagged and ready for pick-up.
Absolutely insane.

The giggling gods are going wild with this one.

Last updated July 31, 2016