crime and punishment in Procrastination Journal

getting real sick of my aunt let’s just vent here

1. gossiping
2. three instances of her getting mad at me about her changing her mind let’s see now
   a. Once we were up in Westerville, and we had gone and gotten something to eat. She says that she is going to go to her friend’s house later, and wonders if I would take her there. I said, okay let’s go. But then she says I dont’ have to be there until 3 hours from now. THen I say, well, okay I guess we can go home… or we could stay up around here and do something else what do you want to do?

then She says hold on, then I ask her, and ask her, and she ignores me. Then I say, well I guess i’ll just go home and a few minutes later when she actually pays attention to what’s going on, she says “I can’t believe you’re refusing to take me to her house”

what

b. We were at the grocery store and she wanted to take some Ensure to her friend who lived up the street, but couldn’t get a hold of them, so we decided to just go home. But as we are getting up to the intersection where I’m supposed to turn, she calls a mutual friend. Turns out friend #2 is at the store we just left, and they get to talking. I ask her if I should keep going straight or just stay going to her house.
She ignores me.

I ask again and get the same result.

So I get ready adn I turn left. At the gas station right at the corner, she says something like “wait” and apparently I said: “But you said go home”
and I definitely said, “Should I turn around?”

seems like I said, “But you said go home” in such a ‘mean and nasty’ way that it cancelled all possibility of the side trip and made her tell friend #2, Shelby doesn’t want to go.

?????

c. Just now, around 9:30 I was asking her if she would come home to let me in her house. She gave one of the keys to Crystal, one of the keys to Anitra, and I had a key but now we have to share it.
Anyway, she says that she was going to leave at 10:30
I say okay that’s fine, I’ll wait.
Then she says, I’ll see if Anitra can meet you there.
I say okay.
She goes: can you meet her at her house?
Now I didn’t want to interact with Anitra in the first place, so I say no. She says, “it’s right at and ” I say, I’d rather wait.
Then she goes, “I think you should get the key from her now. That way I don’t feel stressed about waiting till 10:30. We wanted to Watch the Obama speech together and that doesn’t start till 10.”
I say Okay, she says Hold on.
we were texting right back and forth, so after 14 minutes pass I call her “I was just calling because you said ‘hold on’“ “yes I was still on the phone, my friend called me, (…) Anitra said she has to drive (she’s an uber driver) for this event for (something) so I’m coming now.”
It’s okay, I can wait until later… “I just don’t understand why I have to leave right now and you couldn’t wait until…”
Then here is where I grit my teeth because it’s the 3rd time she’s done this: “What I said was: ‘I would rather wait,’…”
Then she goes “Okay. Bye.”
and hangs up on me.

????????????????????????

She enjoys playing the martyr and the victim she will gaslight you. She makes this whole thing up. It’s like she likes to be in fights.

SHe always thinks someone is trying to “punish” her

My sister, who is an airhead and a pothead, and a twit, is always complaining about not wanting to be here, and wanting to go back to Atlanta, and my aunt says, “It’s like she thinks she’s punishing us, like this is a slight against us, that she doesn’t want to be here.”

What? Like, no, it’s not because we’re here, it’s because that fuck nigga she’s in love with is in Atlanta, but okay.

It’s getting on my fucking nerves.

not to mention the micromanaging, the unconditional critique, etc.

like one time I had to clean off Coco because she had poop stuck to her butt. I spent like half an hour outside, rinsing her off and even shampooing her. Then I tell her about it, and first she has a million questions:
What did you wipe her with? Paper towels (not one of your precious mildew-smelling washcloths)
Where did you put the paper towels? (In a bag, then put them in the trash outside. because you can’t flush those)

If i had launched them to space she would’ve asked me what rocket I had used and then sighed and said “Why did you use that rocket? Let’s reserve that rocket just for me.”

Then she said that coco still smelled like poop and that I did too. She wouldn’t have even noticed it if I didn’t tell her about it.

The thing is, she is the only person I have. I can’t talk to anyone at school or my dad or my sister about anything. I keep going to her even though she usually makes me feel worse.

ONe time I had a panic attack (because I left my car running, that one time) and she said, “You don’t have enough faith in God”

Like, oh yes. Let the person who is ALSO on an SSRI and (by the way takes a benzo! which I don’t even do that) give the “snap out of it” speech, and why not also throw in a little religion-themed guilt trip? Because that’ll make me feel better. Oh gosh, Panic attack over you should patent that.

Lord give me the strength.
and the distance.

Last updated July 27, 2016