Black & Blue... and Gold in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

  • July 19, 2016, 12:43 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

I’m trying to write something less heavy so of course it’s a survey!

Senior year in high school…

What year did you graduate?

Did you know your spouse?
I don’t even know my spouse now!

Did you car pool to school?
Nope, my grandmother drove me.

What kind of car did you have?
I had an amazing Mazda MX-6. I fucking loved that thing. If I still had that car, I’d still be driving because I felt so safe in it… despite the fact that it spontaneously combusted on the freeway.

What kind of car do you have now?
I quit driving for the good of mankind.

It is Friday night…where are you?
Either at a play rehearsal or somewhere recovering from Joe’s death.

What kind of job did you have in high school?
I worked for my grandfather… who fired me.

What kind of job do have now?
I have many jobs… but I’m inching closer and closer to academia.

Were you a party animal?
Absolutely not.

Were you considered a jock?

Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
Yes, I sang in a jazz band and choir.

Were you a nerd?
I liked nerdy stuff but I was too antisocial to actually be a nerd.

Did you get suspended or expelled?
Yes, I was suspended for staging Madonna’s Erotica at the school talent show and then expelled for covering myself nude in the school colors at the blacklight rally and demanding that they grant my request for a GSA.

Can you sing the fight song?
What the fuck is that? Like the song that people sang as they beat me up? I think it was some Tupac song.

Who was/were your favorite high school teachers?
I liked Ms. Schlarb, Mrs. Townsend, Mr. Zaresky and poor Madame Parker. Mr. Lee was also fucking hot and caused me a lot of ahem problems in PE.

Where did you sit at lunch?
I ate my lunch with Mrs. Townsend in the theater.

What was your school’s full name?
Ummm fuck that.

What was your school mascot?
A herd of elk.

If you could go back and do it again, would you?

Did you have fun at Prom?
I didn’t go.

Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?
Wow, way to make me feel like a dick.

Are you planning on going to your next class reunion?
Do they have those?

Are you still in contact with people from school?
Just relatives and even then, barely.

What are/were your school’s colors?
Blue and gold.

Wow, this was way depressing. Fuck high school.

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