The week hell opened in Songs

Wow last week was like some rift in the universe opened and fucked up. I don’t know I feel like I was right in it’s path, the, the path of the aura coming from the rift in the universe. Or the rift itself, which I guess would be more dramatic. I remember learning the word “litotes” and deciding that both in meaning and phoneme it was my favorite word but I don’t think I’ve ever managed to actually apply it in my writing, or speaking, or anything. Or if I have it was probably just sarcasm, yanno? Can it be considered litotes if it’s sarcastic?

Last week we all heard about how horrible everything is from the news. I’m not competing for attention here, in fact, I am quite alright now and today was pretty good but I’ll let you all know how it went so I can get it out one more time.

I already wrote about the UTI, the immense pain, the ubering, the rude receptionist, that just, horrid horrid fucking day. I probably also mentioned my period arriving, and getting my tooth drilled.

It was after I wrote that entry though, that I went to go and eat chinese food with John Henry. INTO THE NIGHT on my bike someone calls out my name and waves hi, I wave back, I feel all chill and cool because someone recognized me on the street, in fact it was another intern from the firm coming back from the “intern happy hour” that I was invited to but declined. After speeding off on my bike I went ahead and got my tire snagged in a trolley track and went flying just in time for a bus to pass by and get the free entertainment of me skidding across pavement with my skirt up and ass to the moon.
:(
More embarrassing than anything else. We’re all thanking god it wasn’t worse, that I only got roadburn, but man did that really feel like a punch in the gut. I also road burned my lip! so, the first day I looked pretty bad ass and as it’s healing I mostly just look like I have a cold sore. Scrapes on elbows, knees, arms, and my tits are bruised.
I got up and pouted a lot, called John Henry and rode the rest of the way to his house. He was all frazzled and wanted to help by I insisted on acting stoic and applying hydrogen peroxide myself until it made me sick and I had him do the rest. It was real cute he got to put on the ointment and he kept warning me it was going to sting and it’s so fucking cute because ointment doesn’t sting… hydrogen peroxide does. I think he was playing Dad or something.
Still waiting on all the cuts to heal.

Then on Friday I find out that a friend from Hampshire had died. I found out from being invited to the memorial. Jesus. I thought it was a joke until I looked up the obituary and she’s being used as a mascot for why heroin is bad. Nina was a fucking brilliant human, I wish there were a god so I could kick him in the face for having her go so soon.
I did drive up to the memorial. Met up with James. Evan showed up. I had been trying to call Rebecca ever since I had found out but she only got back to me as I was an hour away from the house where James was dog sitting. She had no idea. Jesus christ I’ve never told someone that someone they love has died before and I don’t want to again. In fact there are still a couple people I need to get in touch with that I’ve been putting off because jesus. Rebecca still drove down anyway, she got there after the formal memorial ended but we had her meet up and we all were together, Evan, James, Ned, Rebecca, and I which was what was important.
The memorial started at Miles Davis’s grave in the Bronx, and it was awkward, we’re all so young and don’t know how to mourn properly. A lot of people I haven’t seen in a while. Very few said hi. I said hi to very few too. There’s a reason why I hadn’t seem most of them in a while.
And the reason is they suck.
And I miss Nina and the world is missing out big time. Sucks I never got close enough, I only found out Friday through a lot of internet research that she had been writing for a bit for the SF Bay Guardian. I also found a copy of her Div three that’s great, it’s about “Bad Girls and the Glories”

Idk, I’m exhausted I want to go to bed.