don't change gone in 2016

8:30pm

I made it back home. Safe and sound. With all the craziness in the world I guess that means a lot more than it used to.

Someone actually got shot at the airport I went through a few weeks ago, but it was a domestic violence issue. I know it’s horrible to stick your head in the sand over these issues but I just cannot deal with any of it. [as someone pops off a firework somewhere in the back and I hardcore flinch…] It makes me so angry the way things are falling apart, especially in this country. Angry and sad. Disappointed. Stressed, anxious, everything. sigh

So, I’m home. I got in around 9am, drove the three hours home, then dropped Mom off at the office and came home to drop off my stuff. I freshened up and went straight back into work. Not so bad but I was completely exhausted. I couldn’t concentrate on much of anything. Mostly I just caught up on paperwork and saved up anything unimportant for later. Except meeting with a client and running payroll stuff for him. That took a lot of effort. It’s almost better that English isn’t his first language because I was doing some serious rambling, I’m sure.

I also sent an e-mail out to JR because his mom was coming in. I knew she’d tell him she’d run into me there so I had to make the first contact. It was just a short note about how I was back and how I hadn’t heard anything from him so I didn’t know what the situation was like. I also told him he could get in touch and give me an update because I’d be there all afternoon.

He responded pretty quickly and said he was super swamped with work and wouldn’t be around at all. Apparently he’s “shorthanded” and has tons of work. I guess that’s good for him to be busy. He asked what other day I’d be in and I replied saying that I’d literally just gotten in that morning and hadn’t planned much past sleeping that night. He said that in that case there was no way in hell he was showing up that day. ha. Scared much? I told him I was probably nicer when I was exhausted because I didn’t have the energy to come up with sarcastic remarks. He said he was “confused by my tactics” and I decided not to respond after that. I ended up going into the office today to write out some bills but I didn’t contact him. I didn’t feel like dealing. I’ll get around to that later.

Okc update: I finally responded to that guy and admitted to my current love of country music. ha. We’ve exchanged almost 30 messages since then. He’s very quick with the responses [except this last one that he’s let sit for a few hours. kinda weird. ha]. I think he has the app on his phone so he just instantly replies when he reads it. I don’t really understand that but I’m kind of bias on the subject. I’m not glued to my phone and don’t think everything needs an instant response. Oh well. It is kind of nice when you’re on this end of things because I don’t usually have to wait very long to read his response. Poor guy though, he always sorta has to wait for mine. Introverts like to plan out their words and I’m very good at the over-analyzing and re-reading to make sure it’s just right. :-)

It’s crazy though because he’s just like me. I went to read his profile after my first response and holy cow I could have written that thing myself. No wonder I was mysteriously drawn there. Like same ideas on enjoying the quiet. Really into music/nature/camping/hiking. All the things that I do or would love to get into. It seriously did throw me off. To the point where I wondered whether he’d read my profile and then gone to tailor his own responses. It was that similar! [and it’s possible because he had to have seen my profile first]

I did notice that some times he seems to change his answers in order to more align them with mine. The biggest one that stood out was that he was asking about coffee drinking. He mentioned how he puts butter and coconut oil in his [who knew that was a thing?!] and asked how I take mine. [I’d listed coffee as one of the 6 things I can’t live without; mostly because of the habit I’ve built with it and not any sorta caffeine addiction] So I responded and told him that I take mine black unless it’s the holidays and then I put too much peppermint mocha creamer in it.

He responded back answering some questions I had regarding the butter in the coffee and elaborated his answer to include that when he’s not doing all that, he prefers it black.

Uh…dude? You just told me that you liked it a certain way and then came back and changed it to my answer. Like there was no other reason for him to put that in there other than to match mine. Which isn’t as nice as you’d think it would be. It’s cool to have things in common. It’s nice to agree on things in life, but come on. I don’t want anyone to ever change themselves for me because I learned a long time ago that I’m not going to do it for them.

It’s nice to know that I’ve actually implemented this new honesty rule in my life. I keep talking about how I want to be super honest no matter what. Yeah, I still fib sometimes when I know the other person is super sensitive and it won’t kill anyone to agree with what they’re asking. But mostly I’m just being honest. Like he sent me a list of bands/music to look into [which was awesome. I love new music suggestions!] and I could have said that they were all good but I went through each one and stated whether I liked it or not, and why not. =)

I won’t pretend to be someone I’m not. Take it or leave it. I’m in no hurry.
And I expect them to be the same way.

rose.
8:53pm