Forgive me.... in Thoughts.

Our love destroyed me. It was bought with sacrifice and paid for with pain, and in the end, I was left empty. Void. Cold. Afraid.

You gave me fear.

Love was never supposed to be this way. Love was supposed to be pure.
Love is supposed to tie two hearts together in a way that is forever
unbroken.
Forever twined.

For over a year I have struggled with the scars of my own transgressions… and with yours. For my own pain, and the pain that I know I have caused. For over a year I have carried the burden of burying a future that I dreamed of....
for the sake of my own survival.

I have looked at life with a cynicism… an angry heart… and I grow weary.

It has taken me too long to believe in love again, but I finally am beginning to. I am finally wanting for myself what I have never believed myself worthy of receiving.
And I fight for that worth.

I deserve more than lies and games. I deserve more than illusions to be shattered. I deserve more than promises to be left, abandoned, forgotten.

I deserve love. I deserve friendship. And I crave it. I crave a home within a soul that can be shared with mine. I crave a passion that sweeps through every single part of me, and brings me to life. I crave a beginning, with an end game in mind.

No more flings. No more wasted time.
Its time to stop letting fear run wild in my mind.
Its time to open up my heart again.

Its time to believe in love.

-becca