Realization in Adventures of New baby and family

He jumped off the crazy tree and hit every branch on the way down this year..... that pretty much somes it up right there. I can’t deal. He’s too unstable. Run away and hide from your problems. As if that works. Actually in his case it does. Since he’s on SSI the kids aren’t his problem he can walk away free and clear from them.

He came over to use the bathroom, we talked about the car. It got a new battery in Jan but the shop tried to jump it and says its the battery. Honestly at this point I want to junk it and get another cheap car. He doesn’t although its in my name. I could take the battery back and get it replaced but whats the point. I don’t think that really is the problem and that something else is zapping the power. If this was the ONLY thing wrong with it of course I would be more willing to try but its not and getting the battery out of the car is not an easy task. For anybody that says changing a car battery is EASY try looking up how to get one in and out of a pontiac aztek....they haven’t made those cars in a while - there’s a reason. He didn’t want to discuss anything else. I’m hoping its because the wedding is in 2 days and he’s being a baby about it but this is severe even for him. I’m getting to the point I want to move on. Screw this.

Of course I haven’t been sleeping well as I have a cold and the sinuses are a mess and I’m sure I have bronchial asthma which I get every time I get a cold that goes to my lungs. Feel like writing a meme : I don’t always diagnosis myself but since I’m a respiratory therapist , what the snot.
So I lie down and one side gets stuffed up so I roll to the other and the same thing happens then I lie on my back propped up and it drains to my lungs and start coughing. Can’t imagine why I can’t sleep.....that and a million things on my mind.

In 2 months I have to find a job, although still not in panic mode for that will be seriously starting to look soon.

I don’t know why but after I go to an apt at my obgyn I obsess about things I should have said and stupid stuff like that. I have my annual exam coming up and always try to play it out in my head and when I see him......I’m like in another world. Like I feel like I leave out big pieces of information but say things very subtle to him and after I think, I hope he understood that. of course if he didn’t, he usually will understand later in grand fashion LOL. The best one was when I was in his office and told him there was a good chance of me catching something. I wasn’t feeling good that morning. What it was, Andrew was sick and I cleaned it up and of course came down with it. Couldn’t keep anything down and ended up going to the hospital with dehydration. Problem was I had a test scheduled for the next morning and missed it as it was at a different hospital. I know he caught on the week I gave birth. I didn’t think he did but he did. That one I thanked him for calling me so I could get arrangements made as I said baby’s father is in (initials of said hospital) (initials of unit:AKA psych ward). I assumed he knew what the initials of the unit were but from his non response I didn’t know after all he’s an obgyn and that’s psych and the initials really are weird. But he did and asked me about it before the c-section, I was a bit surprised. It occurs to me today that he does talk about things not in a medical way and for some reason it makes me laugh a bit. I’m weird like that when it comes to my own bodily functions and I know I shouldn’t be as I’ve been in the medical profession for years and have discussions like that too. OH well

Last updated July 06, 2016