Locked up. in Dreams (as in actual dreams, not hopes and fantasies)

Had a dream that I tried to commit suicide. Not sure why I attempted it, but the end result was that I fucked it up, and survived it.

Might be because I was watching ER season one a few days ago, and one of the nurses on there tried it and failed, then had to deal with her coworkers and family’s response. The thing that impressed me about that episode was how (at least in my mind) realisitc the response of her coworkers, who are in the medical professon was. Although her attempt was a big deal to them, and affected them greatly right after she did it, when she went back to work, they joked about it and made it seem like it was not a big deal, just so that she wouldn’t feel weird.

Anyway, in my dream, a little while after my attempt, somehow I was talked into going to a psych hospital.

As I went up the steps to the building and the door opened, there was this very scary looking character in what appeared to be some kind of costume that made the person appear like a deranged Panda bear.

The place looked like something out of a horror movie too, and I hesitated it going inside.

Once I walked in, the guy took off his weird suit, and him and his coworkers started laughing and shaking their heads. As it turned out the suit he was wearing was for his protection encase I freaked out and attacked him.
It seemed they were laughing at themselves for getting all dressed up in protection gear for me, since I just calmly walked in at my own will.

I knew that no matter what, I would have to be totally calm through out my stay, but not so calm that I came across as “crazy calm.”

The staff attempted to look professional and distant, but from working in psych myself, on a similar ward, I could tell that they were just tired and burned out with their own issues.

Pretty soon, they were relaxed around me and were decent.

At one point one of them gave me a medication cup with a pill in it, and I refused to take it, since they didn’t know what it was.
I told them I would cooperate with everything else, but I wasn’t taking any medications, because I was fine. I just tried to kill myself (reasons unknown) but I was fine here, and wouldn’t try anything while in the hospital.

One of the women working there, privately asked me why I flipped out, and how I could be sure I wouldn’t flip out again while there.

I told her that in 50 years I very rarely even raised my voice, and was never violent to others or myself, except for this one time, so by the time my next melt down came around, I would be around 100 years old.

Then one of my teeth fell out.

I asked if I could go to my dentist, and they said that I would have to use theirs. I didn’t like that idea and wanted to leave, but knew that I would have to stay calm.

I said, “That’s ok, I will just do without a dentist for now.”

Then all my teeth started falling out, and I ended up with two handfuls of teeth.

Then they were saying, “YOU NEED TO GET TO YOUR DENTIST RIGHT NOW.”

However, feeling all around my mouth with my tongue, I realized that all my teeth were still in my mouth, and said that I’d be fine.

Then I woke up.