Today made a sort of humming sound as it crept along. It tasted greenish blonde and I think it wore flip flops. I suppose if I were a good citizen of time I would have asked today if it were lost and if I could call someone to pick it up and take it home. Instead I just looked the other way and last I saw today it was meandering West towards the horizon.
The only thing that sounds cool to me about living on a tropical Island is the idea that you could catch both a sunrise and sunset over water. I don’t think I’m a tropical island kind of guy. In my fifty some odd trips all around the sun I’ve never managed to get to the tropics, not in the Atlantic or the pacific. I’ve been to a lot of Island, like, for instance, England and Cumberland and Mackinac and a handful of the San Juans. But nowhere near south enough to be called tropical. Hawaii is the only State in the Union I haven’t been to. I’ve been Alaska a few times. That’s sort of how I roll. Not a fan of jungle bugs either.
A while back I almost had a profound thought about sunrises and sunsets and the type of people drawn more to one than the other. It’s not a sillier way of profiling a fortune than correlating the day you were born with some constellation in the sky you haven’t ever seen. I can explain how I feel watching the sunset on the Pacific or on Lake Superior. I can’t explain what it feels like to be an Aquarian. Just saying. I can tell you how to do a tarot reading, but I can’t tell you why you’d want some old lady dressed like a Hollywood gypsy and smelling of patchouli to read your fortune in tarot cards. Shit, that paragraph went south with a quickness. I did say I almost had a thought. Under promise and over deliver; set the bar low enough and you look competent when you step over it.
This paragraph would be about the GF if I wrote about her. Oh. My. Goodness. Wow. Lookee here. Yep. Hmmmm. Zounds! Holy Guacamole.
Why aren’t there more biblical references about avocados. That’s some seriously spiritual green stuff up in there. Figs are ok, I guess, the bible likes figs. I’d take an avocado over a fig any day. I can’t think of any religious text that gives the avocado it’s just praise. Castaneda could have done it if 1) he’d had stopped at three books 2) If he really was a mescalito savant instead of a greasy bookworm stoner and 3) He would have had to mention avocados. I think that’s where it all fell apart, the Don Juan that never was didn’t eat enough avocados. I’m an agnostic so I don’t know this for sure, but I think if you put enough energy into avocados good things will happen. No, I’m not just being snarky nor am I dishing up wise assholery. Huh. Wise-ass holery? Weird, Microsoft word doesn’t want to correct wise assholery, but it hates wise-ass holery. Ok, it just hates holery. So does that mean assholery is a word and holery isn’t? Hmmm. I’ve probably typed assholery often enough where Word figures I’m beyond redemption. An avocado has never suggested I were, am or will be beyond redemption.
Huh. I could go into all the shitty things other religions have done that avocados haven’t, but that would be snarky assholery. I don’t think anyone should worship avocado, but I do think they deserve more consideration than they are given. Also, I was not provoked by avocados in the writing of this, I haven’t even seen one in days. A Whole foods was built here in town in January and opened a few weeks ago. The GF and I wandered through. They had avocados. I said hi to them but didn’t take one home. More’s the pity.
Fucking Carlos Caste-fucking-nada. I tried a lot of that shit, in the desert, all serious and stuff. Very briefly, peyote is a whole different ride than other hallucinogens, it’s not much of a stretch to personify it. Still, fucking Carlos.
This entry was, in part, written to make the day feel less weird about wandering away from me. This entry is probable cause. I’ve all but said Fuck you Saturday May 28th 2016. Now I’ve done that too. I’m not really angry at the day. I’m trying to help it out.
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