i'm not a plant.well. neither is he. in The Wonderland Years: 2015. Done.

ya know how i said i’m not a plant? well neither is he. i mean.i’m a really sweet person but.that’s part of my problem. i kindof see him as this guy who’s really fragile and.no i do see him that way.
I would love.to physically be there for him. [just as he’d love to physically be there for me.as he’s told me. so we both have the same er problem as it were]. but right now i can’t. i can’t even be there emotionally for him.part of that is.he won’t let me and part of it is.me. is that i actually can’t..........help him that way. i haven’t been able to for awhile but.even moreso now. it’s like the song says. ‘time makes you bolder’. and yeah.yeah it does. i mean regardless of when a person’s birthday si there’s more than 1 way to get older.To. mature. I can’t help him in the way that he needs it and neither can anyone else if he won’t let them.and i’ve been that person and i still am. ‘built my life around you’. yeah again going back to the plant thing. it’s like.you have a flower or something and. [although it probably doesn’t work this way let’s say it does for the sake of an analogy/metaphor thing]. You build the greenhouse around it. not build the greenhouse first and then find the flower. and he’s the ‘flower’, or w/e and I’m the greenhouse in a weird way. or w/e.
and. It’s not just my life anymore it’s.our life. awhile ago [back when i was still watching dr. phil] he said something abuot how. w/ 2 people. you know there’s the life Person A has and then the life, Person B has and then their combined life together. and that’s what i meant when awhile back i posted an entry entitled something like ‘although i’m not a mom sometimes i wonder what it would be like completely responsible for myself’. i was watching ‘weeds’ at the time as it so happens another plant thing.
um wow.