boysboysboys in Random Thoughts

Isn’t there an 80’s hair band song that might be appropriate here? Girls, Girls, Girls.

So, i had a date last night. I have a date tonight. I had a date Monday. But, what constitutes a date? Last night’s was definitely a date. A while back i met Izak (a frail, nervous, sweet, Canadian classical musician who loves the sensory experience, kisses well and finds my touch and presence to be intoxicating and healing) at a cuddle party. We had an incredibly intimate, sweet experience and made a date. That was a couple weeks ago, we met at the top of a house turned Portland hipster bar. It was a bit nervous-making, but after talking poly (i told him all about Jamie and that i have other occasional play partners) we decided to go out again. Last night it was the Thornton Wilder play, The Skin of Our Teeth. So! Good!

But, also it ran incredibly late. Show time was at 7:30 and it was a 2 h 50 min play (with intermissions)! I was so sleepy at the end, and i get silly, yawn-y, squirmy when i am tired. We touched, kissed, cuddled (as best you can in theater seats) and generally enjoyed one another’s company. I told Jamie about this date and my experience with Izak, so he knows about it. Jamie asked this morning if there was a “sleep over” but there was not. I don’t know if this will sound odd, but right now i could sex-for-fun, but not sex-with-emotion (because of my connection with Jamie) and i see that with Izak it would be very emotional. I need to know more about him, because he seems frail (he has mentioned poor health) and i don’t want to hurt him. I really just want to heal him. If my presence can be healing, i am happy to be that for him.

But that is not all

I am not active on okcupid, but occasionally i respond to messages. Tom-of-few-words (as he is known in my phone) and i have met twice for dinner/drink and chat. I was just being bold one night and said yes to meeting up. He is about 10 years older than i and (i gather) independently wealthy. Right now he is a sommelier of some sort and retired from super corporate america. He loves food like i do and is really nice. I almost feel like i could have a Daddy in him. I wouldn’t mind being taken care of a bit, spend some quality time together, food, drinks, company, sex (if there is that connection). I told Tom about Jamie, but not vice versa. I am still working on figuring out how much Jamie wants to know about my dating life.

All this communication and disclosure is so new to me and i am so used to communicating based on my interpretations of how the person will react or how/whether it will hurt me/them. But i am getting better and will have that conversation (how much do you want to know? can i tell you about my dates?).

Because. There is more. I have plans for beer and pizza tonight with Greg, a married (poly) guy i met a couple months ago. He and his wife are pretty great, she is super sexy bbw. Greg and i keep flirting, we’ve been out once a long while back. I know he is interested. I might be, guess tonight i will find out.

And more. (a tattooed sexy girl from okc)

And more.

And more.

This is the way it was when i was younger and single. Always a line of people. But now, i can be open to dating whoever, whenever. I have the skills to communicate (everyone i’ve met knows about Jamie) and when i have the time.... and the right persons…i have an expansive amount of love to share.

The ongoing saga of an unmarried, almost 40 year old free spirit.