Anniversary Time in Muddling Through As Best I Can

Tuesday will be one year since the accident that took my son and daughter in law from us. So far I’m doing okay, but I know that despite my best efforts, sometimes the day rolls around and it becomes hard to deal with the rest of the world despite my best intentions.
My daughter in law Jillian has planned a day of remembrance and invited about 30 people to take part in a balloon release at the gravesides and then dinner afterward. I prefer to remember such things as the death of my sons and wife with a dinner with just family or something of that nature. I never know how my emotions are going to run on these days. Some years it’s fine, other times it just hits like an avalanche of loss and I never know which it’s going to be. I hate it, because I don’t like to be emotional in front of others, but I never know how my feelings are going to run until it happens. I hate not being in control of my emotions, especially in front of others. Emotional displays are not for public consumption for me.
So, I can either go to work that day and try to ignore the day, or I can “stiff upper-lip” it and attend it for my kids and granddaughters’ sake.
For those that have been following me a while, you already know; I’ll be there and do my best to behave in a dignified manner for our guests.
The younger generation simply handles such occasions differently than those of us with a little more mileage are accustomed to doing. It’s not wrong I suppose, but it’s not what I would prefer. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that even though Bradley was my son, it’s not all about me.
Things have been going well otherwise. Work has been good, home has been running smoothly for the most part, the kids and grands are all doing fine.
Pamala did not show up for her last two scheduled depositions, but I expected that. We have a mediation set for May 25th, and I fully expect at this point that she will not comply with that. If not, we have trial scheduled on the custody suit for July 25th. I have a good deal of confidence that custody will be awarded to my eldest son and his wife.
Between her history of serial marriages, financial instability, nomadic lifestyle, emotional instability, and the extensive criminal background of her current husband I find it hard to fathom that any competent judge would award her custody.
Anyway, it has been a good, if rainy, weekend. The boys had a barbecue competition. They didn’t win, but Daddy got to taste test all the entries. Yesterday I had smoked chicken and bacon wrapped shrimp for breakfast, sliced beef briscuit and short ribs for lunch, with a cheesecake parfait for dessert. Our evening meal was a combination of all the leftovers with a Pineapple margarita. I felt a little spoiled by the end of the day.
Today was church, then lunch with my cousin Tammy. I haven’t seen her in almost two years, so it was great to catch up with her and all the news about my extended family.
In between I was able to get all my laundry done and have everything ready for work tomorrow.
I hear my kids coming in with the grandbabies now, so it’s offline for this evening. Have a great week.