flashbacks in 2016

3:08pm

Well, I’m back at work. But things are completely different now. They’ve taken a 180. Phone doesn’t ring, no one walks in, etc. It’s so easy going that I don’t mind sitting around here. Plus, I have time to write entries again. :)

Ok. I’ll admit. I was a little bit tipsy last night. I wasn’t even going to sit down to write but I wanted to get the words out. I was having trouble winding down anyway. Didn’t even get to bed until almost 1am. So I guess it helped to get some stuff out of my head. You know it’s hard to stop your mind when it’s just constantly turning things over, especially when it comes to me and my over-analyzing about guys. hah.

I really couldn’t help myself though. Even after I poured the words out, I still ended up having multiple dreams about him including those day-dreaming type moments as I laid there half awake. Just flashbacks to all the different moments. I don’t know. It wasn’t really that big of a deal in person, but there were just so many little interactions that I can’t get my silly brain to let it go.

Not to mention, I really need to get a hold of him and I can’t. For important work-related business of course! [No, seriously!] His phone still goes straight to voicemail. No ring or anything. There were no messages when we got in and he still hasn’t returned my call, or e-mail. It’s like he disappeared off the face of the earth.
Just my luck…

Actually, I bet he’s gone off into the wilderness somewhere. No reception. No communication with the outside world. He seemed like the type. Plus he said he was out here on vacation and I can just picture him out hunting somewhere, or something. I can’t imagine he’d just shut his phone off so that no one would bother him. That seems a little intense, especially with not checking messages or what not if you had the opportunity. What if there’s an emergency!?

I hope he doesn’t leave town without getting back in touch with me. Honestly, I need him to get in touch with me like today, but I have a feeling that’s not going to happen. I’m trying not to worry about it, because there’s not much I can do, but this stuff is sitting on hold and I want it gone. I won’t fully be able to relax until it’s all taken care of so he needs to get back to me asap! And I can’t think of any other way to get ahold of him, other than like super stalking his life until I get a good lead to track him down. That feels like too much work though, especially for something that, in all reality, doesn’t even concern me.
It’s not my fault he’s suddenly turned into a ghost!

But, we all know I can’t help myself, so I look over at every stupid car in the parking lot to see if it’s him [I should have paid attention to what he was driving yesterday]. And I stare at the caller id every time the phone rings. Oh and I’ll probably check my e-mail a dozen more times in the next couple of hours. Good thing his phone is probably not recording missed calls [ I hope it’s not =\ ], because there will probably be another few phone calls as well as a new voicemail before the day is done.

It’s funny how he said I’d have his number memorized. He freaken jinxed me!!
[Considering I was also typing all of his other info a bunch of times, I found it interesting the way he pointed out I’d memorize the number (and accused me of cheating when I’d look down at the paper) and nothing else…]

I don’t know. I’ll probably ‘obsess’ over this for a while. [At least until I get this paperwork sorted out and/or meet someone new] My brain’s never been very good at letting go.

Guess I’ll get back to all these chores I’ve got going on. It’s that time of the year where I catch up on all my paperwork. The motivation’s not really there though. I printed out this coloring book page and that sounds so much more appealing. I need some kind of distraction!

rose.
4:33pm

Last updated April 20, 2016