Important message for females in Procrastination Journal

Even if you have a mobile app for tracking periods,

You should also use your internal app for predicting periods.

“Those can’t be menstrual cramps, my phone says I still have 7 days! No way, can’t be uterus, must be gas.”

Next day: oops those were cramps

Especially if you are irregular and your hormones do what they want and who knows if you’re actually ovulating or if your endometrium just built itself up for fun, and then some totally not corpus luteum finally realized there’d be no baby and gave up making progesterone…

You know, normal ovarian drama.

The point is, I had to use my emergency (read: pretty old, wrapper wrinkled but thankfully still intact) purse tampon

And fuck that.