Upbringing and it's equation to success? in Ponderings

I’ve been wondering about ‘success’ lately. When I think of ‘successful people’ (ie financially comfortable and established), I tend to see the two extremes - those that have come from nothing and those that have inherited from financially successful parents. That get’s me wondering, how much does upbringing and the lifestyle of parents have on a person?

My childhood was a fairly average (if there is such a thing?!) lower middle class lifestyle. We never seemed to have alot of money, but we had the essentials with room for a few luxuries. We had mostly unimaginative staple meals - but we ALWAYS had a meal. We rarely had brand names - but we ALWAYS had clothes on our back. If I wanted something, I was told to save hard and I could have it.

As I approach my 33rd birthday this year, I’ve been a little reflective of my current ’status’. I would consider us at the border of lower and middle class. As with my childhood, my family has never had to worry if there is a meal on the table. We have plenty of clothes to keep us warm. We have a roof over our head. We can afford a spontaneous take out meal or reasonably priced family day out. We currently have no debt, our credit cards are all balanced. We are, however, still renting. We have been renting the same house for over 5 years now. When I think about the money I’ve put into renting....... K has no desire to buy, she ‘enjoys the freedom of renting, to be able to live wherever we want’. She doesn’t think or care about things like that. I on the other hand would have hoped to own a house by now. I try to explain that it’s not really freedom because you always need a roof over your head so you will always be paying rent to someone somewhere, better off paying money towards owning something that is ours. I think she is starting to come around, but either way we couldn’t afford to on my small business earnings alone. I often find myself thinking how much easier and better it was having a steady and secure wage, paid sick days, paid holidays and set hours. Now I wake up and start work and work through till I sleep basically with the only downtime wasted in front of the tv late at night because I have no energy for anything else. My phone rings all the time, every day of the week, the very sound of my ringtone sends a shiver because I know it’s SOMEONE wanting SOMETHING, even if it’s family, no one ever just calls to chat. All for less money than I would make for working less hours for someone else. Then I have to remind myself that if I was working full time again I would miss the concerts and assemblies at school, and the freedom of organising and planning my days how I want (as much as I can of course, customers usually dictate that though!). Basically I feel like I’m at an edge in the business (I’ve actually felt this way for a while now), I can’t afford to hire anyone, I have too much work for me alone, and I don’t trust hiring sub-contractors (perfectionism and business owning are a dangerous combination!).

Which takes me back to my original thought, how much of our upbringing reflects our financial success? Someone who has come from absolutely nothing, who knows the feeling to miss a meal, or to truly feel the cold through old clothes… They have a fire within, a purpose to overcome and transcend obstacles, they build a drive to achieve then exceed. They have had to.

Someone who has grown in wealth, they have a financial knowledge and understanding of ‘making money work’. They have the financial backing to think of an idea and make it happen. They do not think ‘I have this great idea, but how would I find the money to start it?’, they just DO it. If it fails, they do something else.

So, as a product of middle class, was I too ‘comfortable’ to build drive to succeed? Yet not ‘comfortable’ enough to have anything I desired? Lacking the drive necessary to exceed but also lacking the knowledge and support to take my business to the next level?

Ultimately I know that I have the power to control my own destiny, to create my own life, but I do wonder.... What is the impact of our upbringing? A true ‘first world problem’.