Knowing when to forgive in Steps to Change

Picture not related to this entry, and from asofteworld.com (it is not mine).

The hardest thing about this reinvention of myself, about this getting in shape, is knowing when it's okay to forgive myself. It's knowing the difference between me just being lazy and me really not having the energy left to do something.

It's not a line that I'm good at drawing. I'm not good at forgiving myself, and I'm not good at middle ground. If I do something, I try to stick to it down to the letter of my intentions, and if I let myself back off from that at all, it all falls apart.

One day off turns into a week turns into another failed attempt to turn myself around.

I don't really have a solution yet, just another failed attempt to start this week. In fairness to myself, I'm still moving and this is one more thing that I'm not sure that I have the GAFs (give-a-fuck's) to deal with it right now, on top of the exhaustion. Even giving myself a break, though (perhaps deservedly), I feel bad for it.

But who knows, maybe this time, it's actually the start of something.