What is Truth in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

Staying pretty consistent with writing most when I’m at work. That’s actually a significant change for me (over all) and directly contributes to how I’ve not been reading as much and noting even less. For some reason, I worry that it is some kind of betrayal to have YOUR prosebox material up while I’m surrounded by prisoners. I don’t know if that is wisely cautious, caringly sensitive, or bizarrely paranoid.

Without even scheduling strict hours at work today, I already have 7 hours on the books. 4 hours of interviews (court) 3 hours of interviews (jail). The question becomes… how many hours do I actually want to do today? I could leave early and spend time with my wife… she has the day off. But… I’ll just say that isn’t a huge draw for me.

Two BIG goals for this week:
(1) Set up some kind of workout schedule. Fuck the law library, I can’t let it completely control my schedule… I must start prioritizing myself!
(2) Start looking into Healthy Eating options. I have a terrible habit of just letting things go, continue, or pile up and then I realize that it’s been (5-20) hours since I last ate and I’m surprisingly hungry. That isn’t good. I need to start being more deliberate and more exacting.

I’m also fairly shitty. I don’t know what I’m getting for Christmas (that’s a lie, I know at least half of my gifts right now) but I already have two purchases planned.
I need new shoes… badly. My non dress shoes? The tongue on the left shoe has become completely detached. To put the shoe on, I have to unlace the shoe, line up the tongue, gently place my foot in the shoe without upsetting the tongue’s location, and quickly relace to make sure the tongue stays put. Need new shoes.
And finally… finally… I’m going to go ahead, cave, and get that new laptop I’ve been thinking about for months. I don’t need anything big… but I do need something that will allow me to access all of my internet/word stuff while I’m away. Not like it will help the job hunt… I’m not sure if anything can at this point… but I need to be prepared for anything.

One thing still pestering, haunting, nagging at the back of my mind… I really only have two big things going on in my life right now: marriage and work. And I still can’t believe both of those things are such extensive worlds of misery. As I hadn’t kissed (or been kissed) by my wife in many days, I tried to kiss her on the cheek yesterday. Seems simple enough. Yet I was unsuccessful. That kind of thing buries itself into me and reignites the “slow burning” rage. Hugs, kisses, occasionally sexual contact of some kind… why are these still such difficult concepts for Wife to grasp? To understand that her husband might want those elements in the marriage. Or… even saying “I love you.” That would be good, too, every once in a while. For love and/or affection to be part of a marriage.... things I admit I rather expected in a marriage.... apparently, I should not have expected them in my marriage. So I do as I learned and was taught… trouble at home, throw yourself into work… but then, that is a giant misery as well. If we were to restrict our view strictly to current paid work… obviously that is a misery. I spend all of my work hours with prisoners anymore. Not to say that all prisoners are bad; but I’ve dealt with a LOT of violent offenders of late… the people that specifically do not care if they hurt others because the concept of someone else having value is alien to them. So, lets focus on the other element of JOB… my job hunt. A job hunt where I am averaging about 7 resumes a month and about 2 interviews a month… all without any offers.
So… marriage and work… misery.