Short Stories? in Book Two: The Fifteenth Year of the Third Millennium of the Common Era

Another day in the Coal Mine. I normally wouldn’t use that expression for a day at work as it diminishes the danger experienced by legitimate Coal Mine workers… but all things considered, I find it acceptable to use that phrase in my current position as the danger of personal injury and potential death is still alarmingly high in my current employment.

Last Night: Funny story. Sick of the constant bullshit about trying to get to sleep and my wife waking me up because of the snoring; I had decided to sleep in the living room. After all, why subject yourself willingly to an unpleasant experience if it can be avoided? Funny thing is… at about midnight-ish; Wife asks “When are you going to bed?” I shrug and tell her that I was planning on sleeping in the living room, so whenever she was done ironing. She… vehemently objected to that idea. She wanted me in the bed with her; she wanted me in the bed instead of the uncomfortable futon; she was most insistent. When I told her that discomfort on the futon was more acceptable than being woken up and having my pillow pulled out from under me; she assured me she wouldn’t do that and would wear ear plugs. Granted… that is particularly confusing in a fashion. Like… did she listen to how shitty my work day was and decide to be nice? Does she just really want me in bed beside her? I don’t know. I wasn’t going to push it, either. I simply accepted her insistence that I be in the bed and went with it.

Today or Why I No Longer Believe in Rock Bottom

So… I’ll admit. I was still dealing with yesterday’s bullshit. I mean, of course I am! I still had all of that extra work they dumped on me. But… there was so much more shit to dump on me today.

First Mod we call in; a gentleman practically knocks the desk over trying to “make sure (we) paid attention to (him).” Fine, not uncommon. I actually expect most of the inmates to have impulse control problems. He asks a common question about his case… idiotically admitting that, yes he did pull a gun on two people. He is frustrated that he pulled a gun on two people and is getting TWO charges of terroristic threats. I explain how each person counts as a separate charge. He’s getting more worked up and more agitated as he talks and it is difficult to catch all of his words. Apparently, only one person filled out a police report. I try to explain to him that the victims nor the police actually decide the charges; Prosecutors do. Now, the guys is in full action mode. He’s yelling, he’s going back and forth… the guy is either on something (yes, drugs still happen inside the jail) or has some serious mental issues. He keeps repeating, “how can they charge me twice if only one police report?” I try to answer his question and he gets REALLY bad. Starts jumping up and down repeating “See, now you lying. Now you lyin” and punching the wall. Yes, I said punching the brick wall. I tell him sternly, “Sir, you can either calm down or I will put you in lockdown.” His response, “Fuck! Then get me out of here because I’m about to go off!!” I got a sergeant in there as soon as I could (btw “soon as I could” was still a two minute wait) and the sergeant had to restrain the guy to take him back to his Mod.

Awesome. So add THAT bullshit very threatening experience to the “no support on weekends”; “no overtime allowed”; and the new shit about justifying my hours every day. Yeah. Pretty shitty.

Then, I get a call from my boss. His superiors are telling him that they don’t see the need for why Pretrial spends so much on Labor.

Gosh… maybe I can shed some light on the situation. When I was hired in 2012; Pretrial was paid $30.00 per shift to go to court and interview inmates for Pretrial. That was it. That is what we were tasked to do and how we were paid for it. Over the next four years, our tasks went from “what it was” to Go To Court, Interview Inmates for Pretrial, Co-Run the 24/7 Sobriety Monitoring Program, Interview Inmates for House Arrest, Run Law Library, Interview Inmates for Day Reporting. So, honestly… in 4 years… our work requirements tripled. To add to that… within the last year; Boss’ Boss (the asshole) decided he wanted his disdain for Law Library known, so he dicked with pay structures. Instead of $30 per shift (a shift being 3 hours), he added all sorts of hang ups. The pay scale now was PRETRIAL: $13 an hour with 3 hour shifts; LAW LIBRARY $13 an hour; no shift-based pay allowed. Or in simpler terms… when I’m doing something for Pretrial; I get credit for a 3 hour shift no matter how quickly or how long it takes. When I’m doing something for Law Library; if I do my job well and quickly… I’m costing myself money. THESE are the kinds of idiot things we’re dealing with. Instead of throwing a tantrum about Law Library.... Asshat could have kept Pretrial @ $30 per shift and Law Library @ $13 per hour.... but he wanted Law Library to know what he thought of us. NOW it is causing problems. In what fashion?

Budget Cuts. 20% or more… all focused in Pretrial. I lose 25% of my pretrial hours now. Despite working for these people for the last 4 years, having a time card punched at 3 hour shifts for 4 years.... they’re re-doing all of it so Pretrial only gets 2 Hour Shifts. So… in a sense… I became a lawyer and got less pay for doing more work for the same people as when I was a law student.

Lets look at the last 48 hours:
(1) Zero Assistance on the weekends; thus assuring that the department is never in compliance with Legal Requirements
(2) No overtime allowed; thus assuring that (if we can’t get weekend help) we will never EVER be in compliance with Legal Requirements
(3) E-Mailing my boss daily to justify every hour I worked for the entire day
(4) Being minutes away from a violent altercation with an inmate… all with no Correction Officers, no CO training, no security cameras, no security anything.
(5) Massive pay cuts throughout the department attempting to take 20% of my pay! (Don’t worry, fuck them. I’ll just recover that lost time in the Law Library… though that means spending more time in the Law Library which sucks in its own unique special brand of disgusting, obscene foulness.)

But genuinely… to the assholes that IN THE LAST 48 HOURS DUMPED THAT LIST OF 5 ON ME I must ask:

I suppose some positives?
I Facebook Messaged my wife about all of this shit and she actually was supportive. It is a bad sign that I was surprised but it was good that she was supportive. She said, “‘I’m sorry that place is such a shit hole. I love you and we will do what we need to do.: So… she can’t say it out loud, but she can type it. And even reading it was much needed at that point.

Wanting to make sure that people I cared about knew what was going on… so that if I did get injured in the Law Library, or got fired, or whatever happened was known.... I e-mailed my Mom about all the bullshit from the last 48 hours as well. She said: “Two Words. Quit Now.” Which is funny. This woman literally could not walk away from ANYTHING until she was 45 and learned how to say no. She was an Elementary School Music teacher. And she is… rather insistent that I depart this bullshit. Which I appreciate… and largely agree with.

But…

Getting out of something before it utterly destroys me has really never been my forte. Sort of joke, sort of horrific truth. I’ll at least try to finish training the guy in the Law Library. That is an absolute minimum. AND… as is good to remember… if there is a minimum there should be a maximum. The absolute maximum is February. If I don’t have a job and I’m still working for those assholes come February 15; I’ll put my two weeks in. I will tell them with absolute strength and no wavering… the last day I will be willing to work here is February 29th. That’s it.

(obviously, I hope I get SOME kind of offer for a lawyer job before then… I mean, shit I’ve been looking since May 2014… though, I’ve only been desperately looking since April 2015).

Last thing… all this getting royally screwed over at work has forced Work Crush and I to interact a great deal more. Dangerous, obviously.

But all of that time spent talking to her and being around her.... something clicked today. I know why the work crush thing has stuck around so long; has gotten stronger instead of weaker… why the whole thing is so huge in my head. Work Crush.... is a bizarre combination of Wife and Aoife. And seeing how Aoife and Wife are two women with whom I’ve had a voluntary and enjoyable sexually based encounter… that made the whole thing make more sense. Work Crush is a few elements of The One That Got Away mixed with The One That Stayed.

Though, in truth… our interactions of late have reminded me considerably of “Much Ado About Nothing.” We discuss Work Crush’ adventures and misadventures through online dating and this scene comes often to my mind. Love the Kenneth Branagh movie version of this Shakespearean play! Anyway… the scene I’m reminded of.... Don Pedro (in my version played by Denzel Washington) and Beatrice (Emma Thompson) are discussing match-making:

Beatrice: Good Lord for alliance! Thus goes everyone to the world but I, and I am sunburnt; I may sit in a corner and cry ‘heigh-ho!’ for a husband.
Don Pedro: Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.
Beatrice: I would rather have one of your father’s getting. Hath your grace not a brother like you? Your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them.
Don Pedro: Will you have me, lady?
Beatrice: [pauses] No, my lord, unless I might have another for working-days. Your Grace is too costly to wear everyday. But I beseech your Grace to pardon me; for I was born to speak all mirth and no matter.
Don Pedro: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour.
Beatrice: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born…
[Beatrice exits]
Don Pedro: By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady.

Last updated December 01, 2015