Torch in 2015

There was no Lyft appointment Friday, since they were apparently closed the whole week for Thanksgiving. Disappointing, though somewhat predictable. They did text me saying to change it after all. I have one set for Wednesday morning now.

Work thingy earlier went off well enough. The roomie tagged along, so that was cool. Mayumi was there, though her boytoy wasn’t. I didn’t make any effort to talk to her or acknowledge her. I think it surprised her. The last time I went up to her and hugged her, and even bought her a drink. She was ice cold to me, so I had no intention of repeating that and letting it cloud over the night. I passed her in a hall near the end of the night as I was on my way to the bathroom. We exchanged glances, she coldly greeted me, I exchanged it, we exchanged the typical “how are you?” small talk, and that was it. I didn’t stop on my way past her. I’m not going to try to get her to be my friend anymore. I no longer absolve her of taking responsibility for her actions. I’ve forgiven her, but I won’t keep trying to reach out to her. I know somewhere deep inside it bothered her, I could just tell. I hadn’t acted like that before, but I’m also over being hurt by her now. Otherwise the night was quite fun, my co-workers are always entertaining. The one who is leaving and who organized the hangout certainly got quite drunk, I wonder if he ended up getting kicked out, he was that loud. No more worrying if Mayumi or the others who drank excessively would get home safe. They’re adults. I left after about three hours, it seemed a good time to stop and Ella seemed ready to go. I’m glad I went. I didn’t let Mayumi ruin my night this time, and it was good to introduce the roomie to some of the co-workers she hadn’t met. Hopefully I’ll have my Scott Pilgrim vs. the World party next Saturday and have some of them over for that.

I caught up with my friend Miles earlier, I hadn’t seen him in months. He decided to get rid of all his stuff and basically become homeless. An interesting choice for sure, it seems it was motivated by his faith. I do agree that the 9-5 lifestyle is not what it’s cracked up to be, and I above most value freedom, but it’s good to know when to limit rash decision making. My reasons for wanting the careers I want aren’t altruistic. I want to travel and entertain people, though it’s not about helping them per say. Of course, should I succeed and become somewhat wealthy, I will help those around me. It’s good to want to make a positive change in the world, it seems being some sort of apostle is kind of what he’s going for, but you also have to take care of yourself first.

I’ve been talking to someone online, finally! It’s been regular conversation, which is refreshing. We might be meeting up on Monday. I responded to a FWB posting, but she actually seems pretty cool. It would be nice to not be a sex camel anymore, and a legit friend that I haven’t met at work would be nice too. We’ll see.

Slowly, the tide is turning once again. I can see the positive things that are coming up. The hold the past has on me is weakening, and I’m looking only toward the future.