Many things are in the works for the new year. As some of you have suggested, yes, counseling is top of the list. For the entire family.
This is not an easy decision to come to. I was raised in a house where problems were not discussed.. and you certainly didn't talk about them to a counselor. It's an embarrassment to my mother that someone just won't "buck up" and get over something. She sees no benefit whatsoever in counseling. In fact she treats the whole thing like you have committed murder. I have no disillusion that most of MY issues come from this aspect of my mother.
I know there is a lot that my girls hold against me. I try to talk to them about it, but they seem to just want to tell me what I want to hear.
Our road hasn't been an easy one. We have suffered a lot (the three of us) over the last 16 years. Honestly, the fact that I am having such issues with them is expected more than me having a happy little family. But the tendency, by myself, to be like my mother and to just put on a happy face and move on is probably the cause of most of this.
I am SURE I suffer PTSD. I have begun the complicated task of getting help for that. Of course with insurance issues, I must go through my PCM before I can get to the therapy that I need. Red Tape and all...
Once I get myself in with a counselor and a psychiatrist, I will be able to get my girls in easier. I've been working on this for about 3 months since we got insurance through my husbands work. I haven't made much headway. These people aren't interested in helping someone unless they are suicidal or homicidal. And then with the holidays here.. It slows down even more.
January is when I am kicking this thing into high gear. I'm just hopeful that the damage done is repairable.
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