Lazy Day in 2014

I really did nothing today, except for cleaning and vacuuming the inside of my car. Hopefully that’s the last really lazy day for a while. I did rearrange my room the night before, so that’s something. It seems much better now and I have space in front of the computer to play bass without thwacking against the wall, which is between the two bedrooms here. Hopefully I’ll be waking the roomie up less now.

I did stay up until 7:30 in the morning playing games online with friends, something I haven’t done in a long, long time, and probably won’t do again much, if ever. Ideally I’ll be too busy for that soon. I slept until noon, got up, and then bummed around. The roomie and I continued the tradition we started last year of boxed Thanksgiving stuff and frozen chicken cordon blue instead of turkey. Doesn’t seem worth the effort for just the two of us. Last Thanksgiving was the day Mayumi texted me and came back over. After we hooked up a couple times she had anxiety about the situation and backed off. Once she came over that day, she was a regular part of my life for the following 10 months. Of course, that didn’t happen today. That doesn’t exist anymore.

I have a Lyft appointment at 9 in the morning. I received a text Tuesday saying the office hours changed and I needed to reschedule. There has been no mention of any of this on the Lyft site and the number didn’t text me back when I replied, so I’m just going to go anyway. It said to reschedule for December, and I don’t want to wait a whole week to start if I don’t need to.

I stopped washing my car for a few months since I had expired tags and my old roommate had gotten out of tickets somehow by doing the same thing. It worked, I got pulled over while the car was clean but never when it was dirty, even with cops right behind me in traffic. The car is legal now, the outside looks better-ish after a wash(needs another one for the bottoms of the sides) and I vacuumed it for the first time in a couple months. I should be good to go.

The negative feelings keep trying to bubble up. I’m doing my best to keep all the spite contained until the time that it’s needed. Still, every time I see that my ex has liked something or that she has posted something on FB, it needles my heart. She seems to be using it a lot more lately. If I can focus the feelings of hurt, it’s an excellent motivator. I don’t want to sink too far into it, or else it won’t be good. It’s tempting to let that other side of me loose, but it just isn’t time yet. There’s another hangout for a co-worker that’s leaving on Saturday. I may see her there, but I’m not going to make any attempts to be friendly this time. If she greets me I’ll greet her, but I know that that isn’t the person I fell in love with. She wears her skin and answers to her name, but it’s someone else. The person that I loved is dead in my world, never to return, even if to everyone else she may be the same. I won’t make any more efforts to be in her life if she doesn’t want me there. Hopefully it won’t ruin my evening, though if the guy she’s fucking shows up and tries to bother me, I may make a scene. I might have to deal with him tomorrow when he comes in to donate, or it may not be an issue, that’s on him. I’m fine with uncomfortable tension, and I’m also fine with releasing some of the built-up poison toward him.

Whether or not you should take vitamins is debatable. If you do, don’t skimp out and get shitty generic ones. I made the mistake of getting a generic multi-vitamin and after taking it today, I’m confident it’s what has caused me to feel sick and throw up a couple mornings recently. I didn’t throw up a couple hours ago after taking it, but I was close and still don’t feel good now. At least it’s not something wrong with me. When it comes to vitamins, pay the good money, or else you’ll be feeling funny.

I think doing the Lyft driving will fix most of my current problems. First, it’ll ease my money woes. Second, it’ll occupy my time so I won’t have as much time to sit around and think about how much of an outsider I feel like. Third, it may be a viable way to meet new friends, or at least meet some interesting people temporarily.