Taking the shine off in A new era

Things have been very difficult over the last few weeks. I’m still to move in. Psycho ex has taken six weeks to arrange an appointment with her solicitor to sign the paperwork required to sign the house over. She finally signed two weeks ago.

It has then taken joey’s solicitors two weeks to process her papers in order to get his copy to him to be signed. Allegedly this was posted on Tuesday, and he should receive it today. He’s to sign and send it back, he’s doing so recorded delivery to ensure they receive it by Monday at the latest in order to expedite the process.

Once they have received his papers back they contact the bank to transfer the money to psycho ex and then it is at an end. No longer can she turn up to his house and let herself in, no longer is she the third wheel in our relationship, no longer can she dictate how we conduct our relationship.

Things have turned ugly and nasty. Gone is any hope of civility. She has played so many games, broken so many promises of things she will do and when. She was supposed to hand the keys back last week, a week after she had signed. She has no possessions in the house and essentially the money now is a formality. The house is no longer her concern. However she refused to hand over the keys, and stated she would call the police if joey had the locks changed.

I’m pretty certain the police would side with joey, but still, it’s an added drama we could all do without. She then turned up on Sunday when joey was out and took the TV from the bedroom. Apparently it was a spur of the moment decision, in reaction to finding out I would be moving in once everything is complete.

I find this very peculiar given that she is the one who left, she is the one who has had a boyfriend for the last year and claims things are going amazingly well with him. But none the less, again, another drama joey could do without. They did actually manage to talk after he text her to say he was going to ring the police because he thought he had been burgled, unless there was anything she would like to tell him. She turned up, minus the TV, and turned on the waterworks, claiming she had more emotion left for him than she realised and she was struggling more with this than she had thought she would.

I’m certain this is another game. You can’t claim that things are great with your current partner if you have so much emotion still for your ex partner. They’ve been separated for almost two years now, divorced for almost one year and haven’t lived together for over a year. I’m just not convinced by her behaviour, it’s so obviously a ploy to make him feel guilty and distract him from actually getting what he wants.

She had been advised by her solicitor not to pay the latest mortgage payment as everything was supposed to be sorted by the 1st December. It’s certain now that the earliest it will be sorted is the beginning of next week. Joey has asked her to either pay the mortgage or give the keys back before the 1st, as you can’t have it all ways. You can’t sign the house over, insist that you have every right to be in it whenever you fancy until the process is finalised and you have the money in the bank, then refuse to pay for the house. Allegedly she is bringing the keys round on Monday. A story we have heard before and can only hope that she keeps her word this time.

Everyone has advised me to change the locks and I think after all this latest craziness I am inclined for that to be the first thing I do before I move anything in or do any decorating. I’m reliably informed by Google that most locks can be changed by the homeowner without the need for a locksmith so I’ll have a look and see what I can do. Worst case scenario I have to pay a fortune for a locksmith but then again, can you put a price on peace of mind?

I can’t wait for it to be sorted. Joey and I had a massive row last Friday over it all. We had planned the whole weekend, what we were going to do in the house and when, as I had 5 days off work and we were supposed to get the keys on the Thursday. I have felt throughout the whole situation that joey has been very lenient with her and her behavior. He’s said he knows she a pain but he needed to keep her sweet til she’d signed. Which prompted the row on Friday. When she didn’t hand the keys over, he just accepted it without argument.

I accused him of being more worried about upsetting her than he was about upsetting me. That I had waited for six months while this was going on between them, and that st some point it had to stop being about her and be about him and me. Lots of things were said. Lots of wine was drunk. And things have been better since. I feel like he’s been a bit dismissive when I’ve mentioned this before hand, but seeing me in such a state, I think he realised just how much the whole situation has affected me and that maybe he hasn’t put me first all the time.

Things have been much better. He openly admits when we’re honest and talk openly things are better in our relationship. Something he struggles with, and forgets to do at times, but when he does it he always says it’s the best thing.

So again, we’re back to watching this space to see if we get the keys on Monday, or if that’s just something that’s been said to pacify us for a while.

Xx