Questionairre in New Beginnings

How do you take your tea?

I seldom drink tea, but I will admit that I enjoy a glass of sweet iced tea during the summer. I drink hot tea even more rarely, but when I do, I do so because I’m sick, so I drink green tea with honey.

Describe your favorite kiss?

Excluding my mom, I’ve kissed two women in my 33+ years of existence, Charlotte and Katherine, both of whom were cheating on their boyfriends. I met Charlotte when I started college. I was fresh out of high school with no romantic experience, and Charlotte was a bit of a man beast. She was the kind of woman who could change the object of her affection from one day to the next. I think the main reason she was involved with someone was because she was bored. I mean, she was living in a one horse college town. Finding someone to pair up with to enjoy affection is natural and normal, but when there’s almost nothing else to do, people seek love interests not just to satisfy their need for affection, but also to eliminate ennui. Also, when potential romantic partners are in short supply, people tend to gravitate to relationships even more readily. Maybe people think the scarcity may never end, so they have to latch on to the best they can find right now because that person may be the best they can ever have. That was Charlotte’s mindset. Unfortunately, Charlotte was more than willing to try to upgrade if she thought she met someone better. I was wet behind the ears with no experience in resisting a woman’s charm. Charlotte sucked me in.

Katherine was also in a relationship, albeit a much less serious one. I had just begun graduate school, and she had just started college. She had given her virginity to her boyfriend and regretted it, so she wanted to take mine to assuage her feeling that she had made a mistake.

Yeah, I kissed them both. I suppose I’m not the pillar of morality I’d like to be, but at least I stopped the shennanigans with both of them before things went too far. Katherine was certainly more aggressive in trying to seduce to me. She would spend an entire night letting me cuddle her, but I think she genuinely enjoyed being held. Charlotte didn’t have to put as much effort, though that may just be because of my inexperience. Charlotte was the better kisser. She had a softness to her technique with just a bit of moistness that literally made my knees buckle and the back of my neck tingle uncontrollably. To surmise, I don’t have much experience in kissing, but apparently those are the kind of kisses I enjoy.

Do you believe in soul mates?

No. When people talk about soul mates, they seem to be talking about two people being just a like. Wouldn’t soul mates technically be two halves of the same soul? If that’s the case, wouldn’t they be different, like yin and yang; each person would compensate for what the other person lacked. Maybe I don’t understand the idea correctly. Maybe if soul mates exist, they would be perfect complements to each other, being different enough to make up for the other person’s weaknesses but alike enough to have common ground.

Even if I’m wrong about soul mates existing, I don’t think believing in them is a good idea. Too many people expect to meet their soul mates, who will be perfect for them. However, every relationship is going to have conflict, and I don’t think expecting the other person to be one’s perfect partner is sensible. You’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Then people bail when those problems arise. “What is this? An argument? I thought we were perfect for each other? We clearly aren’t soul mates like I thought. We should see other people.” I think it’s better to believe there are people you have high degrees of combatibility with, but success in relationships comes from willingness to resolve conflict, not prevent it entirely by finding the “right” person.

What is your ideal night out?

Probably dinner and a movie. Preferably take out and a rented movie, both of which I can consume in my house.

What would you change about yourself?

I’d get rid of my male pattern baldness, perfectly straigten my teeth, minimize my blackhead as much as possible and add chiseled pecks, bulging biceps, and washboard abs. I also want a brain that can determine the solution to any problem immediately and be a class nine gymast. Until magic is invented, I’ll limit my wishful thinking to changes that are realistically achievable. I wish I were better at socializing, like carrying conversations and reading social ques.

How do you think others describe you?

Akward.

What is your favorite season?

Fall. Summer is too hot, winter is too cold, and spring has too much pollen. Fall temperatures are pefect, and the changing leaves look beautiful.

What is your earliest childhood memory?

Falling down the stairs. My childhood home was a two story house (three if you count the basement). I don’t know how old I was. I must not have even been two. I long believed it was the remnant of a very vivid bad dream, but when I was an adult, my parents verified it’s authenticity.

What is your favorite thing about your family?

I’m not so sure saying that I have a family is accurate. Both my parents are deceased, and my brother and sister have started families of their own. If I had to brag on one thing, I’d say my mom and dad had the strongest work ethic anyone could imagine.

Describe your ideal partner?

I want a hot girl who likes making out.

Well, to be more serious, I want a woman who’s very affectionate. I have very vivid romantic fantasies that I’d like to indulge, like rubbing her feet while she tells me about her day, caressing her back while she lays on top of me and we bingewatch Netflix, and holding her each night while we fall asleep. That was how Katherine enchanted me as I previously discussed. She would spend entire nights cuddling with me, and while she ultimately had ulterior motives, I think she genuinely enjoyed it. I would be the outside spoon, and I’d wrap my arms around her, using the one-strap-back-pack technique to keep us both comfortable. Then depending whether she was facing towards me or away from me, I’d use the hand on my top arm to stroke her back or her tummy, and she’d always give a very favorable reaction. I don’t know how to describe it; she would kind of press her hips into me, relax, press again, and repeat the motion for as long stroked her. Other times, she’d lay on top of me, I would position some pillows next to my head to support her head in the normal position when she lay on bed, and I would stroke her back indefintely. I could probably do that all night if I didn’t need sleep. She would also initiate tickle fights which was probably her undoing. She wasn’t ticklish at all, and when a woman has a great tickle laugh, I melt. I don’t know what it is, the sound of her laugh, the beauty of her smile, the fact that I’m able to be close to her and enjoy physical touch, or a combination of the previous three. I become putty in her hands, and she never knows it. If she had been genuinely ticklish, she would have been able to fully seduce me.

Beyond my craving for physical affection, I want a woman who’s good at managing money, argues by pushing towards a solution instead of a victory, is neat and tidy, and doesn’t want to be a parent (save for the four legged and furry variety of children). That’s her, the woman of my dreams. I hope she exists in reality.

What is your weakness?

Food and sleep. I can’t resist free food, and I can’t get up first think in the morning. I’d sleep late every day if I could.

What is your favorite quote?

I don’t know who said it, but I really like “Let your words be tender and sweet because you may have to eat them.” Good advice.

What tattoo do you want?

A full body tattoo of myself but taller and with hair. Okay, that’s my last sarcastic answer. I don’t want a tattoo, any tattoos. I’m concerned with how they age. Many people don’t realize that tattoos are fashions, and what’s fashionable right now will not be fashionable in the future. Unless an image has a profoundly deep meaning to someone, I’d expect every tattoo owner wishes they could take off at least one tattoo at some point in time.

What is your favorite scent?

Many years, my family would vacation at the Beach Club in St. Simons Island. When we first arrived and the room had just been complety cleaned, there was something about the scent of that room combined with the ocean breeze outside that I cherish. Whatever scent you’d call it, that’s my favorite.

Last updated December 03, 2015