When I watch semi-current TV shows, I watch them on xfinity dot com. It’s part of the Comcast bundle. If it’s a network show they put ads in. I think they are different ads than run live, unless I haven’t seen regular TV in a long time and there’s only one or two sponsors a show. I think xfinity sells a different set of advertisements. Yes, they are regular TV ads, but, you know.
So I didn’t know Charmin was still running a campaign with cartoon bears and tolit paper. I guess it’s better than the old mean grocer who was always trying to keep his customers from squeezing the tolit paper. I remember seeing that one in black and white.
So, can you imagine the table of ad writers sitting around coming up with that one? I betcha 20 bucks one of them kept insisting on a pope, because, you know, does the pope shit in the woods? I mean that’s why bears right? Someone might even had the idea of a bunny trying to tell the bear how nice charmin feels. Um, I suppose I should tell the whole joke on the off chance there’s a person on the planet who hasn’t heard it and, um, is also on prosebox;
So this bunny is taking a happy shit in the woods and bear squats down to join in. The bear asks “Say bunny, does the shit stick to your fur?” The bunny says “No, no it doesn’t.” So the bear picks up the bunny and wipes his ass with him.
I don’t even remember what I was watching but I was surprised to see the old school ad campaign for a new charmin product (though, c’mon, how much innovation has been made with tolit paper in the last twenty years? Yeah, they have pillow tops and extra strong and giant rolls, but they’re variations on a pretty narrow theme). They could start marketing tolit paper for certain diets, it’d make the bears relevant again. Although bears have all the tools to be predators, they’d eat a lot more apples than raccoons. I personally have never seen bear shit with meat in it. I guess they eat bugs and they do like garbage if there’s human around, but bears don’t really hunt, I mean when a person gets mauled by a bear they don’t get eaten.
Um, I guess if I’m going to pretend to know something about bears other than what any hiker knows, their claws would rip tolit paper, and, you know, tear themselves a new one. As much as Disney likes cartoon bears on their hind legs, they don’t walk around like that. They walk around like dogs only with their ass higher off the ground. A dog doesn’t think about wiping his (or her) ass, though most make an effort to cover it up when not at home. I’m not sure why, but they do. Cats too. I mean, sure, it’s to cover up the scent, but it’s not only futile but dogs pee on things to purposely leave a scent. I think bears, given their druthers, would shit in the Vatican.
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