May 2nd in The Wonderland Years: 2013

‘Regardless of whether it’s in a group or not though groups are worse. Like, it’s not even that I don’t like them due to my personal space issues. No it’s that I don’t like their physicality. I don’t like them randomly popping up when I’m out [thank god I don’t live in the city]. It takes me twice as long to go somewheres as it does most, due to this.

If people were just spirts and they weren’t, idinno, physical then that would be fine. um. This is interesting since I’m so very physical myself. I don’t mean the act of being physical. of touching and hugging and all that. No I mean that they’re like. solid and they’re and um. 3D.

I’m not sure how else to explain it. And no it’s not even just that I don’t like that it’s that it scares me. And no it’s not bc of what I’ve been through it actually has nothing to do w/ that. The other interesting thing is. that. I’m fine if I’m in a bar where you expect there are people. [well ok I guess at the store you expect people too]. No but a bar’s a gathering place [which proves I’m not agoraphobic since that actually <means 'fear="" of="" gathering="" places="" i.think.="" or="" something="" similar.="" it's="" another="" diagnosis.="" evidently="" back="" in="" college="" i="" was="" misdiagnosed.="" as="" are="" a="" lot="" of="" in="" college="" i="" was="" misdiagnosed.="" as="" are="" a="" lot="" of="" people.="" just="" like="" the="" word="" 'tw*t'.="" it="" means="" 'pregnant="" goldfish'].="" like,="" and="" see="" no="" one="" knows="" this="" since="" heaven="" forbid="" i="" tell="" someone="" and="" something="" actually="" gets="" done="" about="" it.="" no="" that's="" actually="" one="" of="" the="" reasons="" i="" don't="" state="" a="" lot="" of="" things.'<="" p="">‘in=”” college=”” i=”” was=”” misdiagnosed.=”” as=”” are=”” a=”” lot=”” of=”” people.=”” just=”” like=”” the=”” word=”“ ‘tw*t’.=”” it=”” means=”“ ‘pregnant=”” goldfish’].=”” like,=”” and=”” see=”” no=”” one=”” knows=”” this=”” since=”” heaven=”” forbid=”” i=”” tell=”” someone=”” and=”” something=”” actually=”” gets=”” done=”” about=”” it.=”” no=”” that’s=”” actually=”” one=”” of=”” the=”” reasons=”” i=”” don’t=”” state=”” a=”” lot=”” of=”” things.’<=”” p=”“>