I’m SO ANGRY at my methods teacher (social studies education class that I have to take). I had to write a paper analyzing a textbook that my mentor teacher uses. My mentor teacher doesn’t use a textbook. I asked what I should do long before the paper was due. My professor told me that I can just use the resources that he gives the students to read. I analyzed it, turned in the paper. I thought I did a decent job. I get my paper back… I got a 3 out of 50.
I e-mailed her after I saw it, and I talked to her after class. I reminded her that she told me to write about the papers that my CMT uses, since he doesn’t use a textbook, and he said he didn’t even know where they were in the building. She told me that wasn’t right, and that I needed to find out what textbook they use, and e-mail the head of the curriculum if I need to, and I need to find out if they have an online curriculum they use, etc.
I’m just… I DON’T HAVE TIME TO RE-WRITE A FIVE TO EIGHT PAGE PAPER. Also, WHY DIDN’T SHE TELL ME THIS BEFORE I WROTE THE PAPER! She told me I could do one thing and then changed her mind. It’s like.. no one fucking knows anything, ever! I have three different education instructors telling me different things I need to be doing, and none of it is ever 100% right. I feel like they just make shit up as they go along.
I’M SO OVER THIS. I desperately want to change my major. I don’t care about getting a teaching license anymore. I don’t care about being a school librarian. I’m better off doing something else, this just isn’t worth it! I regret going into education. This program is so fucking awful.
I’m not failing this class because my teacher doesn’t remember telling me one thing and punishing me for another. I mean, she even told me this “wasn’t your fault,” BUT SHE FAILED ME ANYWAY.
My mentor teacher also just brushes everything I ask him off and doesn’t seem like he really wants to help me do anything. And the times that I’ve taught, he doesn’t tell me what I can do better/what I did right. He just… acts like I’m not even there most of the time. And he’s not giving me any resources for a class that I’m supposed to teach next semester that I know nothing about, and he doesn’t know anything about it either. How am I supposed to plan for a class that I don’t know what it’s about???
My professor also asked me if he has resources that I’m using to plan for American History next semester and I said no, and she said it wasn’t supposed to be like that. Well, I get that. Now where is a solution? No one ever has a solution in education. It’s always all talk and no action. They even do that in teacher development meetings. There’s always things they want us to implement, but never give us ideas on logistics for it.
It’s just… a clusterfuck. Education in our country is a fucking mess, you guys.
I also haven’t learned anything about how to teach or how to construct curriculum. So far everything has been “okay, do this,” without any guidance. I just. can’t. even.
I’m really not okay with any of this.
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