Time and Thoughts (Important.) in Entries of Great Significance

  • Oct. 16, 2015, 1:36 p.m.
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Time and Thoughts

I wrote this entry long ago.

I do not wish to revisit my words, because honestly, I rarely care for them.

However, this probably needs to be said with space and distance having separated this version of who I am from the man who penned those thoughts so many years ago.

Those points I made ended up being, for me, a defining part of who I am, how I lived my life, and what I felt was important in this world.

So you care for someone, right?

It matters not be they family, friend, or perhaps lover – the simple strand binding each and every one of those individuals into the complex pattern that comprises your web of affection is just as important.

Just as defining.

So, tell me, how does one show that they care?

I grew up without much means, and so rarely could I ever offer anyone I cared about something real and tangible.

That, for a young kid growing up, I thought and likely was taught through every media there was at the time that the way you care is materials.

Buy her flowers.

Take her to a nice dinner

Get your family nice Christmas gifts.

Gift to your closest friends something they wanted on their birthdays or a special moment.

For illustrative purposes, let’s examine the ‘holiday’ of Valentine’s Day, right?

What guy gets away with not getting his girl something..?

(For you fellas out there, we all know it’s actually somethings. Shhh.)

That was meant to be funny. Don’t leave me mean comments. If you do, I’ll chuckle. Lighten up, everyone. ;)

Seriously, though, isn’t it true? Evaluate your life for a moment?

I’m as guilty of it as anyone. Truly.

Convict me already. I’ve perpetrated the crime. We all have, have we not?

Still, it doesn’t matter the flowers nor the bracelets nor the jewelry..

It doesn’t matter if it’s a vacation or buying your buddies drinks or hosting a party..

These are all very valuable and tangible signs and displays of affections, but they are not concrete. They are not absolute. In fact, at times, they can be entirely deceptive and can foster and encourage feelings that should not otherwise exist.

And that, my friends, has always stuck with me.

Those of you who have known me any length of time know this – I can write. Pen pretty words on a page and offer it to you.

And I will never feel it’s good enough.

Because words are free.

They are easy.

Actions, while speaking louder, do not actually cultivate the same. Because so often we are more manipulated by the actions than the words. Because actions means something, right? It takes effort to actually do something for another. Right?

Yes, it does.

Does not mean, however, that those actions are not rooted in something far less ideal than we might want to believe and likely will not recognize.

And that’s where the burn comes in.

How we become burned by someone else.

Spurned by being used, manipulated, taken advantage of.. and often the follow through on those words and those actions once they get us to truly care is lacking.

And, in this life, isn’t that often how many relationships wander?

They become lacking.

I have always said something else about life..

When you find someone who is truly genuine, who deeply cares, and will be there for you because they care as much about you as they do themselves, well, you grab onto that person. You hold on tight. Don’t let them go.

Because they are worth beyond any weight of every measurable valuable.

They are without a numbered worth.

They are priceless.

And they are also precious and few and not common.

I myself don’t have very many people like that in my life, and yet compared to most I have an abundance of these people.


Because I believe people believe in sincerity, they sense it, when someone truly cares and they want to know you, well, you want to believe.

And I’m blessed that so many wonderful people I have met over the years have found me worthy of keeping for themselves as I treasure their company in my life.

I am blessed.

And here is the crux of my beliefs – it is not what you can give in materials or in words, but rather time and thoughts.

Those are the true greatest gifts one person can ever give another regardless of relationship.

Time and Thoughts.

We all pass from this world into the ether of the next or the void of nothingness and here is the thing, we cannot take our awards with us, we cannot take our homes and our cars and our bank accounts.

So what really is the measure of a man or woman?

Is it the statues or names on buildings or companies that you maybe created that will be your legacy?

Or rather is it the decency of your character, the quality of your caring, and the instrument with which you wield both?

I say the latter over the former.

Every single time.

So we all have a finite existence in this world as we see, know, and understand it, yes?

What can you truly do to show someone else how much they mean to you?

If I spend all day thinking about you, and you stop and truly consider that, I can never get that day back.

I gave that to you.

It is yours.

For always.


If I spend all night consoling you or simply choosing to have a good time with you or include you in the monotony of my daily life, is that not also finite?

Have I not then chosen to give you the most precious thing that we all have to give which is our time?

I cannot give you anything more precious to me than my thoughts which equate to my time, and should you ever earn each, well, then you have stained my heart.

You have carved your name into my very soul.

Because you will be there for always and forever.

There is nothing more that you can offer someone than a smile.

A kind word.

Because that’s a thought and it is your time.

Give them more, and well, I hope we all remember this – you’ve given them everything.

You just gave them your world.

Brian Milici

May you always find your smile.

Last updated October 17, 2015

Sharee October 16, 2015

We don't really celebrate holidays, aside from what we give the kid. But I'm guilty of wanting to give people things, if I see something that makes me think of someone I want them to have it. I also give away a lot of things I make, which I put some money into, but mostly time.

When my grandmother was still with us, I spent a good deal of my days with her whenever possible. My aunts, uncles and cousins gave her gifts for her birthday and Christmas. But more than anything she would have rather they stopped by to watch TV and have a sandwich.

So, basically, I agree. Time is precious, and in the end the memory of that time spent is much more valuable than a gift card for wherever.

LoveSuicide Sharee ⋅ October 16, 2015

Oh, now, I totally agree with you.

I meant to include some examples where people have given me things that mean the world to me, but it's not so much what they gave me that they decided to think of me which goes back to time and thoughts.. time of theirs to earn the money and the thought they put into it..

I'm totally with you on everything you said.

But I've known guys who just went to ProFlowers or something and put zero thought and effort into things. Or took a friend out to eat to patch things up as if that fixes the problems. Y'know?

Sharee LoveSuicide ⋅ October 16, 2015

Definitely. I have a friend that I used to be really close to. She pops up for a bit, we'll go out to dinner or she'll buy me a birthday present, then I won't hear from her again for months.

We sometimes do dinner or something for Valentine's Day or whatever, but nothing major. I can waste money on any day, I don't need a special occasion.

LoveSuicide Sharee ⋅ October 16, 2015

Lol. You're both super affectionate and so caustic and blunt. The last line was cute and so you.

You've got spunk.

Oh, and agreed.

Sharee LoveSuicide ⋅ October 16, 2015

Bruce has his vasectomy last year on Valentine's Day, the nurses acted like we were insane. I told them it was my present (I actually told everyone that lol) and that it would last a lot longer than flowers. ;-)

LoveSuicide Sharee ⋅ October 16, 2015

Oh my God. .. Lol

Must have been a fantastic year then right? !

Sharee LoveSuicide ⋅ October 16, 2015

Well, we were tired of fighting with the insurance company over birth control, so at least that's taken care of. lol

And it's a never ending gift. ;-)

LoveSuicide Sharee ⋅ October 16, 2015

Haha, I bet it's a delightful gift that keeps on giving for sure.

Spilledperfume October 16, 2015

LoveSuicide Spilledperfume ⋅ October 16, 2015

Hearts and hugs.

invisible ink October 16, 2015

Excellent and so true.

I think many of us do these very things every day....

Just like did this very moment with your thoughts coming hauntingly from the past....

Well done my friend.

LoveSuicide invisible ink ⋅ October 16, 2015

Hauntingly from the past? How so?

Always appreciate your input!

invisible ink LoveSuicide ⋅ October 16, 2015

Things previous learned and reposted ...or did I read this wrong... you wrote it some time ago....Right

LoveSuicide invisible ink ⋅ October 16, 2015

Ohh. I rewrote it with some newfound and perhaps further cultivated thoughts, but you are certainly right the basis is much the same. :)

Just didn't know if it was something that triggered was all.

Jafael October 16, 2015

So very true. I cried reading this.

LoveSuicide Jafael ⋅ October 16, 2015

I usually like making girls cry..

kidding, so kidding ...

Not sure why, but big hugs and hearts.

Athena October 17, 2015

all i want from anyone is time. one-on-one, face-to-face time. i don't want presents, just your presence. not everyone gets that.

LoveSuicide Athena ⋅ October 23, 2015

Amen, darling. I absolutely agree with you.

There's nothing quite like the presence of another and their focus rather than the focus being on another's presents.

Well put. So eloquent you are.

Waiting For Sunrise October 17, 2015

Words may be free, but they are not easy... telling someone how you feel about them, sharing a secret, asking for help... none of those are easy. To give someone words you give them your thoughts, and the time it took to put them into words.

Words are how we tell people, you have my time and my thoughts.

Deleted user December 11, 2015

Quality time is my love language.

LoveSuicide Deleted user ⋅ December 14, 2015


Deleted user LoveSuicide ⋅ December 14, 2015


Deleted user December 11, 2015

Your Scores

9 Physical Touch
8 Quality Time
7 Words of Affirmation
5 Acts of Service
1 Receiving Gifts

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