Stolen survey in Chunky giblets

Because I can.

Have you ever been yelled at?
Every day, if I’m doing it right.

Has a close friend or family member died?
Yeah, loads, but nothing hit me as bad as when my father died. He was in New York on 9/11.

Have you ever been to jail for something you never did?
Yeah. Got convicted of slinging weed when I was in fact purchasing it. Fuckers.

Have you ever been joked about because of the color of your skin?
Sure I have. Not only that, but I get a lot of racism from English people because I’m Irish. Fuck ‘em - it doesn’t bother me one iota.

Have you ever been on drugs and not known why?
Weird question. I’ve been on a fucking metric shit-ton of all kinds of different narcotics and psychedelics over the years. I’ve always known why.

Have you ever been scammed by someone you loved?
Nah.

Have you ever been betrayed?
More times than either I can count or is humanly good for me.Let’s leave it at that.

Have you ever been beat up because you weren’t cool enough?
Fuck no. Who do you think you’re reading here?

Have you ever been brought down by a friend?
If someone brings you down, they’re not your friend. So no.

Have you ever lost a friend because of a crush?
Nope.

Have you ever been told you could never do something?
Frequently. I go ahead and do it anyway.

Have you ever not had a roof above your head?
Yes, but only for the last 16 years.

Have you ever had to not eat because you did not have the money?
Uhahahahahahaheheheheheheheh. Most days.

Have you ever been forced into a relationship?
I wish.

What was the worst mistake of your life?
Haven’t finished living yet, and I know I’ll be making plenty more mistakes to come, oh yes…

Who is the person who brought you down the most?
The female alleged to have given birth to me.

Did you ever have to live without seeing one or both of your birth parents?
Dad’s dead and the woman who claims to have given birth to me hasn’t spoken to me for years, so…

Have you ever been called Fat?
Sometimes. I have a gut. Who gives a shit?

Have you ever been made fun of because of your sexuality?
Only by SJW freaks.

What is it really like to be you?
Listening to this on a ketamine trip whilst being raped by a gang of rabid weasels on crack:

Last updated September 28, 2015