I was never a girl who dreamed of having a wedding. When asked my only assumption about my wedding day was that it would be dictated by my mother and future mother-in-law’s desires.
In that same way, I thought I never gave much consideration to my wedding/engagement rings. It wasn’t until my husband proposed that I realized that I did have one assumption about them— I assumed that my future husband would be the one to pick them out.
We went to numerous stores together, and at each store, the sales lady would ask, ”What’s your style? What do you like?”
Having never been married or even had an engagement ring before, I had no idea what my style was. I’m sure I was a lovely customer to have to deal with.
I can’t recall who chose my ring - if it was him or if it was me - but we chose it, bought it, and left. I wanted him to have mine engraved, but he never took the time to do it. (His is engraved with the words The Main Thing from a sermon we listened to when we were married — always remember to keep The Main Thing the Main Thing) I’ve worn my ring(s) almost every day since, sans once or twice when I have accidentally wandered off without it.
This morning, I sent him a text message: If you sold/pawned my wedding rings, would you get enough for your gun and generator?
His response was immediate: That is not an option.
Why not?
Because I’m mentally unstable and have not been thinking right… I’ve blown [so much money] in six months. Who in their right mind would do this. We talked about all this last night. I know I need help.
Tomorrow is the final day.
I am thinking of slipping both of my rings into a little plastic bag, then sliding the little plastic bag into his wallet. It could, when he found it, serve as a reminder of the final day. It could, when he found it, serve as a reminder of what he stands to lose. It could, when he found it, set him off and make him think that I’ve already left.
I do not see any way that he can complete all three requirements in the next 24 hours. The VA does not work that quickly.
And yet, as I write this, I checked an email account that I forgot I had. Earlier today, I had sent an email to his VA psychiatrist, to a lovely man that my husband has not seen in 3-4 years because he is always too busy. I wrote to him:
Doctor,
You previously worked with my husband [insert name] who was born on [date]. Husband’s care was transferred to [new psychologist] at the [location].
Husband is not doing well, and he needs to be seen as quickly as possible. His addictions (smoking, drinking, and gambling) are out of control. He has very nearly gambled our house away, and he is about to lose his wife, his children, his home, and his family.
When is the soonest that he can be seen? Location does not matter. Please advise. He needs help.
Four hours later, I had a response:
Please have Husband come in ASAP to see [psychologist]. He can present as a walk-in patient at the [location] any morning this week. He can come in as early as 8 am, up until 4 pm, but should try to come in earlier in the day if at all possible. Alternately, he can come to the VA ER any time, as we always have a mental health provider available to see him. I’m sorry to hear about your situation and pray that he will come in for help soon.
One day remaining.
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