4:50 PM
So I woke up a little early today from a long and slightly more realistic like dream. I have yet to fully understand when I am dreaming, especially if I dream about something that could be very realistic like my family and at other times I feel like I grasp the concept but instead of acting on it - I let the dream play out in my head. I got up and hastily got dressed and left to do some errands with my mother, we went to the post office and we were going to head straight to Walmart but my mother called my sister (who works at a bar we go to) and asked if ass-hat (sorry I mean step father) went to eat there after his physical therapy and of course he did, this made my mother very angry because she wanted to go eat too and he didn’t even bother to tell her that he was going to go eat. So we went there and ate and then headed to Walmart, I got orange Gatorade, pizza’s, a sleeping supplement called Melatonin (I am experimenting to see if it will help me sleep longer and deeper), and my favorite little snack cake. We came home took all that stuff in and I spent some time looking around online watching challenge video’s - The Raw Onion challenge. I cannot stand raw onions (except for garlic - which is a type of Onion) and then I headed off to the doctors.
I went in and sat down, he came out soon and got me early because the person before me was a no show. I talked about my issues, including how my depression felt so bad that just breathing felt like a chore and it hurt. He wanted to talk about Therapy and how it was going, I got angry and just told him that I had been swimming and talking to people on my video games and he said that was a good “first start” to dealing with my social anxiety and he told me to get out of the house and talk to people (I mentally told him no) and then he went on his usual lecture about how choices and how I am making the wrong ones and that I don’t do enough to help with therapy (which is true because I don’t like therapy) etc. etc. etc. He increased my Seroquel to 300 mg and explained that the recommended dose for people with Bipolar disorder (which I have) is 600 mg but he said we should just move up to 300 first and try that. Personally I was a little angry about it because I wanted to be bumped up fully to the 600 mg but I will try in the future. I soon left and came home but I stopped at the gas station got 2 monster energies and 2 unsweetened tea’s.
I got home and saw my neighbors cat in the window so I brought my cat outside to see what she would do and she just took one look at the other cat and hissed at it the other cat just stared at her doing nothing. - lol I told her that wasn’t nice and that is not how you should treat your neighbors and brought her back inside. and I spent time searching online for this Anime I wanted to watch but I wanted the english dubbed version, I prefer that over the sub titles and I found it so now I can enjoy it, it is called Code Geass. I am feeling pretty good for a change and it is a nice day outside, slightly cooler then days past but I quite enjoy it. I think it signals autumn is on its way.


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