Beginning Dating? in New Beginnings

I’m wondering if I need to start dating. It’s not so much that I think I should as I worry that not doing it means something worse. All I can think about is Mr. Heckel. Perhaps people today are too young to understand that reference. Years ago, there was a popular TV show titled “Friends” that revolved around the lives of six friends living in New York City. At a bare minimum, you’ve probably seen at least one show in syndication. In the earlier seasons, a man named Mr. Heckel lived in the apartment under the residence of two of the characters, Monica and Rachel. Every so often, he would knock on their door to complain about their being loud. He’d always have a ridiculous reason for asking them to be more quiet. He’d say something like, “My birds can’t go to sleep,” to which one of the girls would say, “You don’t have birds.” Of course, he would reply, “I could have birds.”

I always thought his complaints were meant to be a silly sort of joke, but now I’m concerned that I see my future in that character. He was an older character, considerably older than the lead characters. He lived completely alone, and he didn’t have any friends or family. I wonder if his “complaining” was just a desperate attempt for social interaction. I’m very much on that path. Maybe I’m on a worse path because I don’t really have a hunger to socialize. I’ve never been good a making friends, and for a long time I really ached for some companionship. I can’t decide whether I finally became comfortable in my solitude or just numb to it. I’m concerned I’m getting to a point when I’ll be so socially awkward that I’m completely unfit to interact with people and am permanently trapped in solitary confinement.

I had an experience when I was buying my new place. My realtor, Victoria, was a very attractive woman. Of course, when we first met in person, I couldn’t help but subtlely check her left hand. She was wearing a ring to little surprise. When we started looking at houses together, I noticed she had quit wearing her ring. At some point in our more casual conversations, she mentioned she wanted to start having kids in the next few years. I wondered if she had taken off her ring to make me more agreeable. Guys are notoriously stupid for a pretty face, especially when person attached to that face is appears to single causing the guy to think he has a romantic possibility with her. When I was signing the close papers on my current place, we were talking and she mentioned that she was going through a divorce. It wasn’t until well after the event that I started wondering if she was giving me a signal. Why would she take off her ring right after we met and off handedly mention that she wanted to start having kids? Especially during a divorce, don’t people want to avoid serious relationships in order to grieve the death of their marriage? Why would she say all that and let me know that she was single, too? Is all that stuff normal information to share with someone you’ve met just handful of times.

Not that I’m bothered that I potentially missed out on the love of my life, I’m not. After all, I don’t really want children, and she’s allergic to cats (I can’t give up my kitties). Also, in discussing my housing budget with her, she could have easily concluded that I am in very strong financial position, so even if she was interested in me, it might not have been for the best reasons.

All that being said, I would like to get married one day, and that’s certainly not going to happen if I don’t learn how to correctly read people, and I’m never going to learn how to read people if I continue my regular routine of work, work out, home, watch Netflix with the cats, sleep, repeat. If I don’t make some changes soon, I’m practically destined to become a real life version of Mr. Heckel. Granted, I’ll be a fitter, less scraggily version of him, but I’ll be a version of him nonetheless. Now that I think about it, creating a character like that for a punchline is kind of a wretched thing to do. I wonder if the writers ever felt bad about that.